Painfully true!

About two and a half years ago, I fell. I was trying to potty train my miniature dachshund after he had piddled in the house again. I've been potty training my dogs for years. I catch them red-handed, rub their nose in the spot where they urinated, and say “NO!” in a firm and decisive way. It's a technique I've used for many years and it has always worked for me. I have the authoritative attitude and voice to make it work, so I can honestly boast of having obedient dogs over the years.

But, I digress …

Tripping and falling were not part of the training session. (Yes! I scared the pup and he never piddled in the house again, but I won't recommend it to pet-lovers house-training their animals.)

My shoulder suffered a terrible blow that day. I should have gone to a doctor at the time, but I collapsed on my bed with self-pity for my injury instead. As time passed, the shoulder became a constant problem. I forgot about the fall. At some point, I started thinking it was arthritis. I eventually went to a doctor and he sent me to see a specialist (X-rays only show that much and as far as the shoulder is concerned CT or MRI scans prove to be a better choice to check for damage). The ultimate diagnosis would be arthroscopic surgery.

My reaction was to see a second doctor for a second opinion. Fortunately, during the check-up, I remembered the fall. Twelve injections later with anti-inflammatory medication, a lot of subjected pain and rest, and rehabilitation therapy, my shoulder was as good as new. Then, six months later, I managed to injure the shoulder again. (I have to learn not to carry heavy things around or pull and push heavy objects.)

For a year I managed to cope with the pain. The inflammation and the prolonged and persistent pain eventually affected my blood pressure, so I returned to the doctor. After the fifth injection, I started contemplating the possibility of arthroscopic surgery.

In all that time, I had learned to deal with pain, day and night - especially night. Now, I have always believed in the power of the mind. I know exactly what the power of positive thinking can do for me. I know my limits regarding my personal pain threshold and I know that more often than necessary my anxiety levels are higher than they should be. Nevertheless, what really impressed me more than anything else in that whole feat was what I had assessed pain to be. 

A lot of people believe pain is a symptom. Others think it's all in the head. In my case, I treated the pain as if it were all in the head. Whenever I was busy at work, positive and focused, the pain didn't matter. Anger and disappointment as well as anxiety and bouts of depression fed my pain. I never took pain medication much, only when it really got to me. Most of the time, I processed the pain and managed to get over it, but it was a persistent, nagging pain, which only got worse when I used my arm in specific ways. Needless to say, I stopped using my arm to avoid the acute pain and dealt with the rest the best I could.

Unfortunately, after a long period of constant pain, my mind reached a point where it just wouldn't take the pain anymore. That's when I'd visit the doctor. It was my way of breaking the stress-anxiety-pain cycle. Yes, the injections hurt. For four days after the injections, I was numbed with pain. I found myself clenching my teeth and had to force myself to relax. Taking pain medication three times a day helped for the first two hours of the pain-filled eight. The rest of the time, I had to grit my teeth and bear it.

All in all, I've learned that modifying my thoughts and learning to relax really works. When I'm calm, I seem to function better. I'm able to cope with the pain and control it. My perception of pain has helped me a lot. Pain is subjective, and I've learned to respond to it well. I am grateful for the fact that I haven't become dependent on painkillers.

I've been successful through the power of positive thinking, which has made me marvel at how amazing the brain really is. It can do so much more than we realize.  

It's time to take control

Everyone has the same amount of time each day. How you manage your time is very different from how others manage theirs. If you feel that you're spending most of your time doing crisis management instead of time management, it's probably because you don't plan ahead. The secret lies in planning, prioritizing, and the ability to say "No!". How can you go about doing this? Well, here are a few steps to consider:

1. Purchase a diary and plan your actions for each day. Write down everything that needs to be done. Focus on everything that is a priority for that specific day. Everything else can be put on a scheduled plan for the next day or later in the week.
2. When you wake up, follow the plan. Do what is written down. Unless it's an emergency, don't add anything to the daily plan. Rather say "No!" and add whatever is new to the schedule for another day.
3. A lot of people procrastinate. Make it a habit to start early and on time, and end everything on time.
4. Multi-tasking is a mistake. If you give something your undivided attention and do it to the best of your ability, you will be saving more time than trying to kill two birds with one stone. The proverb has potential, but in many circumstances, it is not effective. When you spend time doing something, do it properly the first time.
5. If you don't say "No!" and you add unnecessary tasks to your daily plan, you will be changing time management back into crisis management.
6. It's important to realize that time management not only affects you but other people too. So, learn to respect other people's time. You have your opinion of what is important and they have their opinion of what is a priority. Communicate and make effective arrangements so that things get done.

Time management is possible. Plan, prioritize and learn to say "No!". When this doesn't seem to work in your life, you need to ask yourself a very important question: Who is in control of your life? 

You have to be in control of your life. If your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, children, friends, pets, boss, job, or other people or "stuff" control your life, you are a slave of the system in which you live. You will always be out of control, negative and unhappy. Making sacrifices continually for other people and compromising your time every day robs you of your inner peace.

Take control of your life. After all, it's your life. Spend your time wisely. If you're not happy, you need to find out what it is that's causing you to feel unhappy. Communicate, negotiate, suggest, and always show respect, but find a way to make things better.

Life is hard and it doesn't get easier with age. To lead a quality life, you have to make responsible choices. Make the right choices to make a positive difference, not only in your life but in the life of those around you.

The power of thought

It's all in the power of the mind. Giving up is relatively easy. Fighting back is hard.

Getting up every morning to face a normal day is a basic routine. We go through the motions because we have to and because we can. Whether we want to is completely a different question, but we do what we have to do through the power of the mind.

I think it was Robert Pirsig that said the place to improve the world is first in one's own heart, head and hands. That of course is applicable to any given day: to improve a day lies within ourselves - within the heart, within the mind, within action and within reach. The art of survival would then be never giving up and being relentless about it.

I can't remember a single day in my life where I stayed in bed because I just didn't want to face a day. It doesn't matter how despondent I become, I just can't stay in bed. Why? Simply because my mind won't allow it. I think too much.

What is it exactly that makes us think a lot? What makes our mind go off on a tangent and accumulate thoughts? Why do we have to contend with so many thoughts in our head at one given time? It's like a total thought attack. The idea of a blank mind seems so surreal.

When I'm idle, whether I'm sitting in front of the television or lying in bed after a good night's rest, I always suffer a thought attack. Not that I really watch T.V. or sleep easily. I suffer from insomnia and have to work really hard and very late to get my head to rest on a pillow.

I think the key to surviving the world we live in, with all its ups and downs, is not to stop thinking as such, but rather to channelize our thoughts in positive directions. The fact that we think is just that, a fact. We think. The focus then should be on what we think. It's not the quantity of thought that should matter, but the quality of thought.

We may have a restless mind. There's nothing wrong in having one. We just need to learn patience to change detail into foresight, idle ideas into opportunities and knowledge into action. 

A mind can be filled to the brim with knowledge, but that doesn't suggest a person is educated. Knowledgeable, but not educated. Education lies in applying knowledge. If it's never applied, all the knowledge just makes us opinionated and unpopular.

The power of the mind and the power of our thoughts make us who we are. The force of habit is to look at a dark cloud and be negative. There lies the challenge: to look at a situation or person and think positive thoughts. Align yourself with a positive force and be everything you can be with the power of a positive mind. It's a tactic to beat all negativity. If you think you can, it's probable. If you believe you can, it's more than just possible.

No matter where you are, no matter who you're with, always remember: you are what you constantly think. Make a difference through the power of positive thought.   

Endless possibilities

One of the most difficult people with whom to work is a person who exercises partially biased favouritism.

Now there's some redundant thought!

Another difficult person within the working environment is the one who simply refuses to listen. Oh, they hear you alright! They just don't listen.

Not listening to your peers or colleagues is a serious faux pas. Especially those in a senior position need good listening skills. Those who don't have these skills should learn the art of listening as quickly as possible. They should learn to stand still, make eye contact, show confidence, and meet their peers, colleagues, employees, whoever halfway. There are so many barriers that affect communication. One, in particular, is when personalities are incompatible.

At some point in life, you are bound to find yourself in a situation where you have to deal with difficult people, people with whom you just don't get along. Difficulties arise simply because you are incompatible, but that shouldn't hinder you. Don't allow impossible people to frustrate you. Stand your ground and be confident. You may feel you are the only person who is not getting along with that particular person, but if you don't see eye to eye, it's not your fault. Oil and water simply don't mix. It doesn't matter how the person interacts with others, if you're not getting along with that person, you're not to blame.

An important goal is to protect your self-esteem. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is constantly trying to portray you as inadequate or in the wrong, take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. People are opinionated, but that's exactly it: mere opinions. You don't have to defend yourself against them.

In all relationships, be the manager. Manage the situation. Don't allow anger or frustration to create opportunities that will make you say or do something irresponsible or regrettable.  As the manager, you have to prevent damage to yourself rather than do damage control. One of the best resources is silence. With that comes listening. Those who are silent learn to observe. They are the ones who listen.

Working with impossible people and impossible situations requires wisdom. Seeing that opposites attract, remember to be a possible person during impossible times. Have an attitude open to endless possibilities!

Leadership skills can be maintained by anyone, even those who are not leaders. Self-improvement is a step forward in the right direction. Just imagine what the world would be like once filled with corrected attitudes.

It matters who you are, but it also matters who other people are. Everyone counts!

The sub-conscious and self-motivation

We were in a short meeting yesterday, during the second break. Motivational speaker, Callie Roos, came with 12 or 13 or 14 specific points to discuss with us.

I didn't take notes. At that specific time, I was too tired. In fact, many people didn't take notes. They just listened. He kept telling us to remember the points. He repeated them several times throughout the forty-minute talk. I walked out of that room remembering six or seven. 

You see, the conscious mind can only hold around seven pieces of information in short-term memory. The subconscious mind, however, stores all the knowledge you've ever acquired. Everything you've ever read, heard, thought, or imagined is held within its immense bank vaults. So, what he said is in my subconscious and I will be able to draw upon it when I need to.

The mind has been described as such:

The conscious mind is like a yacht. The subconscious mind is like the ocean.

When the conscious mind struggles to remember something and eventually gives up, the subconscious mind trawls through its vast database, making connections between various bits of information, and eventually retrieves the information that is needed at a given time.

When you are experiencing a problem, you shouldn't struggle with it. Pass it on to the subconscious mind. Don't focus on the problem. Focus on the solution. When you allow the subconscious mind to work, it will eventually give you a hint or a mental image of the solution. While you continually struggle to focus on the problem with the conscious mind, the subconscious is working, processing, and making connections. The only problem is, your conscious mind is not opening opportunities for any sub-conscious breakthroughs and you're stuck focusing on the problem.

Listening to Callie Roos was very interesting. I'm sure the points I have consciously forgotten will surface one day when I need them.

What is motivation? One definition is that it's the act or process of motivating. The secret lies in the word "process". After a motivational talk, the listener needs time to think about what has been said. Going back to the classroom directly after the talk is an obstacle within the definition.

One of the seven points I remember is "inspiration". We need inspiration on a daily basis and it lies within ourselves to find inspiration. I find it in my classroom when I teach. Facial expressions of amusement or wry disappointment inspire me. Moods inspire me.

In life, you should be your own personal motivational speaker. You have the capability of moving yourself on an emotional level through your normal day-to-day train of thought. 

How? 

• Gain confidence in yourself. You are unique. No one is like you. You have to like who you are. 
• Learn to focus on all your positive attributes. By doing this, you'll secure personal credibility. 
• Maybe you want to climb a mountain, but realistically, you can't. Accept it and go out. Go and climb a tree. When you're at the height where you feel comfortable, perceive yourself in a positive light: you are a climber of small trees and be happy with it. Why be more? If climbing makes you happy then climb, but love yourself in the process. 
• Be realistic. Accept your limitations and be happy. 
• Strive to achieve a higher goal at a later stage when you're used to being comfortable with the attained height, but don't want too much too soon. 
• You have to obtain trust in yourself if you want to be happy.

You don't have to find the best time of any given day to motivate yourself. Self-motivation should be like breathing: constant and with purpose. Being proactive in fighting negativity is the greatest fight of all, but it makes you tired. That's why laughter is necessary. So when all else fails, laugh. Even when there's nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~ Jean Houston.

New Year resolutions

So many New Year resolutions, so few kept. By the end of the first week, sadly, many are just not remembered. It's not because we suffer from temporary amnesia, but rather because time waits for no man. We are so busy, there's just no time in our hectic schedule to keep focused on what we want to change or what we want to do.

Needless to say, few people have the willpower to see their resolutions through.

I think, when it comes to bad habits and good intentions, we shouldn't wait for a year to end to make any efforts. Each day should be like a new page, a new challenge. When we really want to stop a bad habit or start something good or worthwhile, we should simply do it. When we fail or stumble, we should learn to start over again as soon as possible.

A good example is dieting. How many of us want to lose weight? (I'm a member of that club!) We start dieting and by the third or fourth day, we lose the willpower to see it through. Then we indulge and the shameless guilt takes over. Soon we find a new diet to follow. We forget that eating healthy is a lifestyle. It shouldn't be a punishment. Thorough research into the perfect personal eating plan is necessary and with the gained information, it should be a pleasure to eat. Eventually, weight loss will come naturally, not because it's forced. 

I sometimes think we're just too busy trying to make a living. We forget to enjoy life. A lot of people live to eat, work or relax. Shouldn't it be the other way round? Shouldn't we eat, work or relax to live? Shouldn't there be happiness in doing that? Shouldn't it be something we strive for every day?

New Year resolutions are good, but everyday resolutions are better. Let's make 2011 a daily pleasure. It's worth a try.

Being me is a courageous thing

When I was a teen, I was given a book of Khalil Gibran's work. Most of the time I didn't understand what I was reading, but some of the phrases and words made an impression in my mind. He was one of the people who inspired me to write. 

I always used to wonder: What's in a word? How can a word make a difference? Over the years, I discovered that the art of writing lies in combining specific words creatively to shape the thoughts of other people. 

Words alone don't necessarily make the difference because mood matters. When we communicate with people, they are aware of what we're saying, but there's more to it. The power of communication doesn't always lie in what we say. The power lies in how we say things. Not only in casual conversation, but even on paper we are able to pick up on the mood. It's visible even on screen in the way people comment or make status updates on sites like Facebook or Twitter. They just spontaneously write, whatever they're thinking, with little concern about word choice. 

Many people are negatively inspired. Negativity comes naturally and builds up over time because life is full of frustration and irritation, hurdles, and uninspiring events. Suffering especially causes negativity. Who in the world does not suffer? Some people suffer poverty and others battle with their health. Some suffer isolation and others suffer abuse. There are so many forms of suffering. Sometimes we endure different forms of suffering at the same time. Life, then, requires more courage than we realize, and for us to be who we are becomes a courageous thing. 

My adult life has been a struggle financially and even though I always thought that this was hard, I never considered how different it could be. About a week ago, I became extremely ill. I visited a doctor at the start of the week and was convinced the medication would work. Two days later, I was bedbound and thinking I was at death's door. I had never felt so ill in my life. At one point I remember thinking: all I want in life is to feel better. I wanted to feel the way I had done prior to becoming ill. I visited another doctor and this time the pills worked. Today, I can't believe I was that ill. What made me ill? Stress. What caused the stress? Negativity.

If I must suffer, which would I prefer: ill-health or financial instability? Surely one form of suffering affects the other. In the end, it's the way we perceive suffering that makes the difference. After all, suffering is a perception. (Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~ Haruki Murakami.)

I find the placebo effect when I focus on positive things. Reading work like that of Khalil Gibran's or Helen Steiner Rice, in my case, makes a difference. To me, it's all about the power of words and my simple belief that every dark cloud has a silver lining. When I get tired and all the negativity builds up, I lose focus. I stop reading. I stop believing.

There are so many positive things in life that we fail to see and while negativity blinds us, we have so much power. Our strength lies within. Our thoughts have the power, like words, to shape our days. When life knocks us down, we need to remember these simple words:  "You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~ Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh.