Friday, 4 September 2015

At a crossroad ...


For the past two years, I have thrown myself into a pool of information. Every part of the journey to become an effective teacher has been insightful and educational. 

When I reflect on the journey, I realise just how much I have changed, and learnt and grown from the experience. Having come this far, I know that I can make a difference in my classroom and at the school where I teach. Sadly, I have exhausted myself in the process. There have been times where I have reached levels of mental satiety and I just couldn’t carry on. It made me reflect on my life as a teacher.

My life as a teacher has been one of great dedication. At every school I have ever taught, I sacrificed all my energy to be committed in my endeavours for the children. In November, I will be finalising this educational journey. I will be completing my last two exams and my research assignment, and then I will receive my Bachelor of Education (B.Ed) Honours degree in Teaching and Learning. So far I have passed five of the eight completed modules with distinction. I gave my best and I have achieved what I set out to do. 

As October approaches, I consider how I have spent my years in self-sacrificial workaholism. I’m turning 50 this year and more than ever the question lingers: Is this really what I plan to do for the next fifteen years until retirement? 

Surely there is more to life than working myself into a stupor? There’s joy and satisfaction in what I do, but at the expense of my family and my health. I’ve never travelled anywhere and holidays away from home are a luxury I cannot afford. So, I spend the school holidays preparing for the next term. Do I rest? No. Does it matter? It never did. 

Suddenly I find myself contemplating all the adventures of life on which I am missing out. I’m at a crossroad. 

Where to from here? 

When I look at myself ...

  The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that yo...