From my novel: The Power is Yours

Chapter 2 Pressing toward the goal

Many people regret the present moment and yearn for the past or future. They either live in the past, wishing they could turn back the hands of time, or they spend their time hoping for a better life in the future. If you start living each day in the present, you can make sense of your life.

Paulo Coelho describes the problem beautifully: “We have enormous difficulty in focusing on the present; we’re always thinking about what we did, about how we could have done it better, about the consequences of our actions, and about why we didn’t act as we should have. Or else, we think about the future, what we’re going to do tomorrow, what precautions we should take, what dangers await us around the next corner, how to avoid what we don’t want and how to get what we have always dreamed of.”

Are you living in the past, or are you waiting in great anticipation for your future? What about now? Isn’t the present moment important, too? According to Mahatma Gandhi, “The future depends on what you do today.” Yes! Every thought, decision or action today impacts your present and your future. Are you focused on the here and now?

You alone have the power to make good or bad decisions.

Your life decisions are influenced by the present moment and the people who are with you at the time. You must decide who or what is guiding you to make your decisions because each decision you make affects your plans and mood. Decisions determine whether you will be happy or disappointed. If you make bad decisions, you will experience adverse outcomes, but good decisions will lead to a successful future.  

The question is: How do you make decisions? Do you make them independently or allow others to help you? Do you make decisions that are best for you, or do you make decisions that please others? Do you fear that every decision you make may be a wrong one? Or do you prefer not to make decisions and allow them to be made for you?

Every moment of your life defines you.

You are who you are in each living moment. The decisions you make may stretch across many moments, but the minute you make the decision, you create a new direction. Even when the decision turns out to have been a mistake and the outcome is negative, it doesn’t have to stay that way. You may have taken the wrong path, but it’s a learning process, and you can turn it around.

At some point in the future, you may discover that a choice you made in the past is not what you planned or wanted. You needn’t regret it, though. Don’t focus on the choice as a mistake and don’t dwell on the time that’s been lost. Focus on the process of learning that came from the experience. You have grown because of it. If you never make mistakes, how will you ever learn or change?

Choices always lead to new opportunities.

Your decisions can be average and ordinary, or they can be life-changing. Joel Osteen said, “If you think you’re average, then you’ll be average. If you think you’re ordinary, then you’ll live ordinary. The truth is there is nothing ordinary about you. You have something to offer that nobody else can offer.” Do you think that you’re just an average person? Genesis 1:26 (ESV) reads: “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness”. Yes! You have been made according to God’s likeness. Do you still think you’re average? 

The way you think defines you. You can’t have a successful future if you think you’re average. You can’t have a successful future if you don’t know why you’re here. You can’t have a successful future if you don’t plan. If you want to have freedom and money one day to lead a successful life, you’ll also need to know what success means.

From my novel: The Power is Yours

Chapter 1 Fight the good fight 

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.” Once information enters your mind and you know that it exists, you can never go back and say that you didn’t know. You only have the power to accept the information and make it a way of life or reject it. Whatever you choose to do, you will grow from it.

There is a lesson in everything we experience.

You are alive today and searching for answers to your life and purpose on earth. Who isn't? For every question, there is an answer. “A question is a powerful thing. It can open doors, challenge the status quo, and lead to new ideas and innovations. A question can change your world if you ask the right one.” (Adapted from Old Mutual advertisement, S.A.). Don’t be afraid to ask questions or challenge opportunities to find the answers. 

You are given many opportunities and blessings every day. When you welcome all the possibilities and benefits that come your way, you will always make progress.

Moving forward is a way of life. It always leads to something new and something different.

You need to make sense of your life before you can enjoy new opportunities and blessings. You need to discover just how amazing you really are. Only then will you realize how significant your life is, and how you can live your life in a wonderful and fulfilling way. 

Perhaps you are weighed down because of everything that has happened to you in your life. Perhaps people have burdened you with their problems and bad attitudes, and now you, too, feel battered. Bad situations, circumstances, and attitudes have troubled your days, and you are seeking relief. All you really want is to find independence and happiness. It’s possible.

There’s a story on the internet about the palm tree, written by Kerstin Anderas-Lundquist. She speaks of the palm tree as being flexible and having the capacity to bend almost double without breaking. Kerstin says, “During storms with hurricane-force winds, only the palm tree is able to withstand without breaking or being uprooted. Not only so, but when the ill winds have passed, the tree just returns to its original position totally unfazed. Large oak trees are pulled up by the roots. Other trees are snapped in two like toothpicks, but the palm tree still stands strong amid the destruction surrounding it. It is also believed that its root system is not weakened, but actually strengthened by these storms.”

Kerstin draws a comparison between you and the palm tree. She says, “When the unexpected storms of life roll in like a tsunami, and try to wash away your dreams and drown your hopes along with them; when hurricane-force winds of doubt and worry try to uproot your faith and topple your confidence, don’t give up and don’t give in. Weather the storm like the palm tree you are! You may be bent over by the force of the winds, but get up! You may be bent, but you’re not broken! Your roots are grounded in the Word of Almighty God, continually growing stronger as the storm rages on. Don’t lose your peace! Don’t lose your joy! Know that this too will pass and your life will continue to be long-lived, stately, upright, useful and fruitful.”

Psalm 92:12 (ESV) reads: “The righteous flourish like the palm tree… ”. This is a good way to live your life. Be righteous. Do the right thing. Live a life of good morals and ethics, and you will be like the palm tree. You will flourish all the days of your life.

 

Do you have control over the future?

As a chess player, you must predict what you see in front of you to win. You can anticipate your opponent’s next move, but everything you plan changes if it deviates from your expectation.  

In life, you have no control over your future. It’s not guaranteed in a written game plan that you will reach your destination if you follow a few simple rules. Aspects of the end are determined by what you do in life, and most of it lies in your choices. Overeating or drinking excessively affects your health later in life. Participating in extreme sports limits the length of your life every time you take a risk.

Certain future aspects can be shaped, and the younger you start, the better. Today’s youth become disenchanted very quickly with the opportunities they have. You can tell a young girl or boy that youth is fleeting, and they will disagree. Teenage years are like extended prison terms for many teens, and they feel trapped within a system where there seems no end to what is inflicted upon them.

The thing about shaping the future at a young age lies in the fact that you have more energy and enthusiasm. Important choices must be made regarding a career, a partner, and savings for the retirement years. Some options will have a long-term effect on you, while others will not affect you until much later. And while wise choices bring happiness, success, and security, unwise decisions can ruin a person’s life.

In school, students must write exams. The results determine whether they will advance to the next level of education. Given the memorandum before the test, a student would know what to expect and make fewer mistakes. It’s the same with knowing the future, and it would help you make the necessary adjustments in your life to benefit later.

Others set the example. You build on the knowledge and experiences of others, and you imitate what is good and avoid making the mistakes they have made. In that case, you can still mould your future. Should there be any deviations due to tragedy or misfortune, you learn to adapt. You can still achieve happiness, success, and security via the detour.

Living life is hard, and so are many decisions you must make. Yet, you trod on! You lift your head and have faith in tomorrow. Don’t worry about controlling the future. Control your attitude.

The secret of life isn’t what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

 

When did it really start?

Many of my posts are about pain, and I’m sure my readers are tired of reading about it. I often feel as if I’m stuck in a loop of repeating what I’ve already said. I never reread my articles once they’re posted. Today I stumbled across an article I wrote in 2008, and I now realize I’ve had it wrong. My pain didn’t start in recent years.

The start of something bigger (13 August 2008)

The year is 2008. I turn 43 towards the end of October. I wake up in the mornings in pain. And I wonder: Is it arthritis?

Of course, the first thing that enters my mind is the revelation that I do not really know what arthritis is. I know it involves inflamed joints, but what does that mean? Why do joints become inflamed? The minute I Google it, I find over a hundred rheumatic diseases and conditions that may affect the joints and muscles, bones, tendons, and ligaments. Damage can be done to the skin, organs, and eyes.

I sit still in awe.

I have often thought that rheumatism or arthritis is an old-age sickness. It’s not. I look at my symptoms just to get a head start. I’m tired. I ache. I even have sore eyes. Sometimes I’m over-stressed and depressed – ever so slightly depressed, nothing major. My fingers, wrists, knees, ankles, and feet ache constantly. Every day, I wake up feeling stiff and in discomfort. Sometimes I even wake up several times during the night because of the pain. Even though I have no idea what is wrong with me, I realize I need to visit my doctor. I also need to look at what I’m eating. I can’t ignore that I work long hours, exercise irregularly and have a problem being overweight.

I believe there is no medical drug that can cure the detrimental effects that arthritis has on the body. Most of what I read is meant to reduce pain and inflammation. The medicines and treatment available provide relief, but when one thinks of all the side effects of drugs, and the price, where exactly does the solution lie?

The good thing about arthritis is that it’s not a significant cause of death like heart disease or cancer. The swelling and tiredness, strangely enough, can be handled. Pain, on the other hand, is a whole new ball game. The most significant future dampener lies in knowing that I can become immobile and dependent on help from (hopefully) family members.

I believe we are what we think. If I allow the pain to affect me mentally, I will only feel pain and enable it to control my life. And that’s not viable. Being overworked and stressed to the limit, I realize the importance of rest. So, positive thoughts and more rest seem to be an immediate solution. Well, both are possible. It’s not as if I must save money or go out and buy a whole supply of fresh fruit and vegetables before I can achieve anything.

Positive thoughts require a realistic view of my situation. I need to take it easy and pay attention to my body. I need to adapt not only physically but also mentally to my limitations. And it won’t help at all to feel frustrated or anxious about the situation. The greatest gift of all to whatever I’m dealing with is that I have such a supportive family. I always refer to my husband as my pillar of strength. Having the love, sympathy, and support of him and my children helps me through each day.

One day at a time sometimes becomes one hour at a time. And I’m only beginning with my tribulation. This is but the start of something. Yes, I’ve been suffering for perhaps more than a year now. But I do realize it’s getting worse. I would like to encourage everyone who seems to be going through a similar thing to visit their doctor as soon as possible. I always wait almost until everything is unbearable, and that’s not the way to go about life.

I remain optimistic as I know that the advances made in the medical field can, in the long run, prove to bring an end to a lot of the symptoms arthritis sufferers suffer. I look at my mother, who has been suffering for almost ten years now. Her fingers are distorted and stiff. Yet, she persists in endurance. She’s my hero!

The lesson I learned from this article is that when we live an unbalanced life where our work starts to control us, we forget about past health issues. This can’t be good. In my case, had the peripheral neuropathy been diagnosed back then, would my life be different now? Had I known, would I have taken better care of myself to avoid the decline in nerve damage?

In the end, it is what it is. Now, I must live with the damage. Strange as it may sound, it makes me feel slightly more optimistic knowing that I’ve been coping with pain for 14 years because it gives me hope to continue doing this for another 14 years and more.

Our only limitations are the ones we set up in our own minds. ~ Napoleon Hill  

 

I'm a survivor

I live with constant pain every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year of my life. I try to live a normal life and do what I can, enduring the pain according to my ability.

I repeat myself, lose concentration, or get stuck in a thinking rut because my brain is constantly focused on the pain. I'm trying hard to be a survivor and not a victim, which is difficult for other people and me. It's hard to remember that I'm a survivor when I act as if I have no pain. I hide my pain well. Sadly, in survivor mode, I give people the impression that I'm okay and don't have an emotional and mental burden to carry. It's exhausting to live a double life.

I need emotional support more than anything else because, while I live as a survivor, I'm the only one aware of and living with the constant pain. The key here is to focus on "constant" and not "pain." I'm fighting depression because of this constancy. So, I'm not only hiding pain. I'm also hiding depression. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year, I tell myself everything is okay. I do this because I've chosen to be a survivor.

It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced. And I have no other choice but to endure it. There are so many moments when I catch myself in the act: feeling like a victim, feeling sorry for myself. I can't fight this battle when I'm weak, when I'm the victim.

Life is what I make of it, but I need others to know that I'm suffering in silence as a survivor most of the time. Support this, and I'll have the strength to endure another day. 

Tell your story

Every person has a story to tell, and every story is similar in two ways. Firstly, we all began our life journey at birth. And secondly, the paths we have walked, the experiences we have had, and the people we have met have helped us become who we are. In our failures and successes, we have learned many lessons that have been vital to our survival. 

In the past, people kept journals. Today, social media allows us to share images and status updates that shed light on our thoughts and experiences. By sharing our emotions, our dreams, our fears, our efforts, our pain, our hopes, and our joys with others, we create powerful learning opportunities. Life experience is a master teacher and when we share ours with others, we empower them. 

Have you ever considered writing a book? I've helped several people write their life stories. Sadly, not all of them persevered, so their stories remain unpublished.

Our lives are too short not to take advantage of all the resources available to us. If you're not able to write your own life story, look for someone who can help you. Let your story be an inspiration to others.

I write so others might contemplate things that are out of the ordinary. I write to make people feel—to cause laughter and tears and anger at injustice. I write so the world will imagine and wonder at crazy, incredible truths. I write to have a tiny bit of influence on a universal conscience. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Writing seemed to me to be the most natural thing to do during my college days. I could not open up to others, and so I started writing my thoughts in my journal. It gave me a sense of calm and peace. And now after so many years to write my thoughts in my journal still seems to me to be the most natural thing to do. I am still not able to open up easily in front of people. And so writing keeps me sane! ~ Avijeet Das

Touching people’s hearts through your words is the only job that you could do, and nobody has to hire you for it. ~ Misbah Khan

And so I write. I write my life. I write to escape real life. I write to live moments over again. I write to rewrite the moments I’ve lived over in a way that makes more sense to me. I write the moments to heal. I write the moments I hope never happen. And I write the moments I hope will happen. ~ R.B. O'Brien

Facebook can be a guiding light

It isn’t something that comes with age. Quite frankly, I’ve never been a fan of change. When I was a child, my father was in the army. Every three years, we would relocate to a different town and attend a new school. Because I was shy and insecure, I was not too fond of it.

 

At the age of 56, I’m confronted with change again. I’ve been worried about it since my husband, and I decided to relocate from the bushveld in early 2020. We’ve been here for over 20 years and are in desperate need of a change. It has taken some time for my ill-health application to retire to be processed and finalized, and, at last, I have a date! My employment with the Department of Education will end on February 28, 2022. Then I’ll be free to go wherever I want.

 

The barrage of emotions I’ve felt this year has worn me down. I was so overwhelmed when I saw the following on Facebook.

 

You don’t need to see the entire path to take the first step. You can take the first step with fear and doubt. You can take it with hope and trust. Too often, we think we need to have it all figured out and planned before we can start. But the truth is, the best journeys taken aren’t planned from start to finish. They take unexpected twists and turns to lead us where we need to go. They take longer than we think they will. They teach us things for which we could never prepare. So when you find yourself at the foot of a path, don’t worry about everything ahead. Just take the first step. You will find your way. ~ Nikki Banas

 

These words resonated with me. My husband and I decided, as a couple, to bring about change together. But, as the months passed, a sense of fear and doubt took over my heart. My faith was weakened. I wanted to be in control of everything. I still do!

Although I’m still trying to let go, I now know that I can’t prepare for all of the unexpected challenges we’ll face after the move. By being aware of this fact, I can make any future blows less painful to deal with.