It isn’t something that
comes with age. Quite frankly, I’ve never been a fan of change. When I was a
child, my father was in the army. Every three years, we would relocate to a
different town and attend a new school. Because I was shy and insecure, I was
not too fond of it.
At the age of 56, I’m confronted with change again. I’ve been
worried about it since my husband, and I decided to relocate from the bushveld
in early 2020. We’ve been here for over 20 years and are in desperate need of a
change. It has taken some time for my ill-health application to retire to be
processed and finalized, and, at last, I have a date! My employment with the
Department of Education will end on February 28, 2022. Then I’ll be free to go
wherever I want.
The barrage of emotions I’ve felt this year has worn me down. I
was so overwhelmed when I saw the following on Facebook.
You don’t need to see the entire path to take the first step.
You can take the first step with fear and doubt. You can take it with hope and
trust. Too often, we think we need to have it all figured out and planned
before we can start. But the truth is, the best journeys taken aren’t planned
from start to finish. They take unexpected twists and turns to lead us where we
need to go. They take longer than we think they will. They teach us things for
which we could never prepare. So when you find yourself at the foot of a path,
don’t worry about everything ahead. Just take the first step. You will find
your way. ~ Nikki Banas
These words resonated with me. My husband and I decided, as a
couple, to bring about change together. But, as the months passed, a sense of
fear and doubt took over my heart. My faith was weakened. I wanted to be in
control of everything. I still do!
Although I’m still trying to let go, I now know that I can’t prepare for all of the unexpected challenges we’ll face after the move. By being aware of this fact, I can make any future blows less painful to deal with.
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