My son

My son was born in Lichtenburg (North West) on the 27th of June, 1997. His name is Colin Steyn. He is my youngest child and I am so proud of him. 2015 is the year he completes his school career – Grade 12. And then he’ll be off to discover his calling.

Whilst pregnant, I used to talk, and read and sing to Colin – just as I had done with my daughter, Jana. When he was born, Jana wanted to hold him all the time. Colin was a peaceful and quiet baby. He was always smiling when awake. He slept a lot, even during his bath time. When I played music, he would fall asleep with a smile on his face. He had eyes for Jana only. He watched her intensely. Every move and sound she made fascinated him. With her help, we broadened his horizons and encouraged a diversity of interests.

He was about 18 months when he was stolen from my shopping trolley in Cape Town. My husband and I were comparing prices and were a few steps away from the trolley in which Colin was sitting. What made it easy for the man to take him was the fact that the trolley was at the start of the shopping aisle. Fortunately, Jana saw the whole incident and told us immediately. My husband ran to the nearest door. Whilst talking to one of the security men, the kidnapper approached the door with my son. Because Colin wasn’t crying, the security man decided not to do anything about it. He kept saying that my son knew the man because he wasn't crying. Since that day, I made Colin raise the roof with his screaming if a stranger just dared to come near him. To this day, I am grateful for Jana’s keen eye in preventing her brother from being kidnapped. It was one of the most traumatic experiences we have had.

Colin is amazing. He is a sensitive person who can read body language and facial expressions, picking up things that go unsaid. He is sensitive to tone of voice, attitudes, and emotions. While this may sound like soft traits, Colin has exceptional inner strength. He is a strong-willed person, motivated to endure many things to achieve his personal goals. 

Colin is a sociable boy with a keen interest in people. He is also very popular. He's not only clever with his thoughts and words but also has a great sense of humour. He’s warm-hearted, humble, and sincere.

I am still learning much about his personality. Because Colin is a teen, it’s difficult for me to always understand him. But this is what I know and truly appreciate about him: 

1. Colin isn’t easily deceived. As I’ve said, Colin interprets body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, attitudes, and emotions very quickly. He doesn’t like conflict or negativity. 
2. He is a people person. He doesn’t like being alone and is dependent on honest company and loyal friends. He doesn’t like the limelight, noise, or crowds. So, his groups are small and cozy. 
3. Colin tends to be shy. He’s humble and kindhearted. He’s loving, always ready with a hug. Most importantly, he's loyal!
4. Colin will be ruthless when he’s backed into a corner. He doesn’t like people judging him or making efforts to manipulate him into doing things he doesn’t like.  
5. Being a peace-loving person, he becomes overwhelmed when there is a lot of conflict and tension around him. But, Colin will not do anything that he doesn’t want to do. He’s not a people pleaser. He will stay true to himself. He will be tormented by any conflict that arises from situations where people expect him to do something he refuses to do. He’ll walk away and spend time in isolation rather than do anything he’s against. 
6. He sings in the school choir. 
7. Colin is a sport for fun. So, if you wake up on a Saturday and tell him to quickly get dressed for a road trip, he’ll be ready before you are. 
8. Colin has a great sense of humour and can really make you laugh.  
9. Even though he likes company, Colin recharges when he’s on his own. He doesn’t recharge in the company of others. So, alone time is important for him. 
10. Colin loves music. He sings and dances 90% of the time, always ready to share his latest hits with you.   
11. Colin plays rugby. It’s his passion. He doesn’t care for other types of sport. 
12. Colin is a homely boy. I know where he is most of the time because he is permanently camping out in the living room or bedroom with a "pack" of teenage boys, playing PS3 or Xbox 360.

Colin is my one and only precious son. I love him so much and I’m so grateful that he is a part of my life. My favourite time with him is when we drive to and from school. (He attends the school where I teach.) We can talk when we’re in the car. It’s the only time that I feel we can share our thoughts without being distracted. 2015 is going to be a difficult year because it is our last year together and I know I am going to miss him so much when he finishes school. My wish for him is the same as my wish for Jana: a life filled with rich blessings. 

My daughter

My daughter was born in Lichtenburg (North West) on the 28th of May, 1992. Her name is Jana Steyn. She is my eldest child and I am so proud of her. She is currently studying her LLB degree through UNISA and works as a candidate attorney at an attorney's office in town, which means she's still living at home. She is my friend, a confidante and anchor in my life.

I remember talking, and reading and singing to Jana whilst being pregnant. When she was born, I used to sing and dance her to sleep. Yes, dance. I would lay her down on a pillow and dance with her in my arms until she was fast asleep. I had very little choice because she was extremely curious and sleeping was the last thing on her mind. But she loved music and she loved it when we danced. Throughout her life, I did everything in my power to broaden her horizons and encourage a diversity of interests. Today I am proud to say, her versatile personality and intelligence has turned her into an extremely interesting person. She remains curious, has a wonderful sense of humour and has a wide range of diverse friends, from Evert Coetzee, a lecturer at the University of Pretoria (one of the most intelligent men I know), to Valerie Linford, a creative young woman.

Since the year that she finished her school career, I have discovered so many new facets of her personality. To be honest, it's a kaleidoscope of personalities in one. Sometimes her personalities contradict one another, but strangely enough they still work together.

A lot of people don’t understand Jana. So, I've decided to write down a few handy tips for those who have and will befriend her:

1. Jana gets bored and irritated easily. Talk to her without hesitation and talk to her about a variety of stuff. She loves people who are positive. Don’t nag or moan or repeat.
2. She’s independent and doesn’t like being confined in company or places. The saying: If you love something, set it free …”. That’s Jana. Don't become obsessive or clingy.
3. Be honest. She can detect lies, schemes, false appearances – any form of deceit – very quickly. And then you’ve lost her. 
4. She has a fine eye for detail and likes art and "weirdness" (movies, books, fashion, etc.) She doesn’t like monotony or routine. Expect impulsiveness from her!
5. She’s quiet, but once she gets to know you and places her trust in you, she will talk your head off. She has many ideas and dreams and will often ask you for some advice. If it’s all blah-blah-blah to you, don’t bother to stick around. You really need to be interested in what she’s talking about otherwise you’ll just end up being frustrated. So stay and listen, or leave. 
6. When you do stay to listen, be a good listener. She hates self-centered people who only talk about themselves (and NO she isn’t one of them). If you don’t make eye contact and she senses you’re not listening to her, she will lose interest in you. 
7. Trust, as I’ve said, is important to her. She will not jump into a relationship if she doesn’t trust you (any relationship, e.g. friendship). 
8. She loves to eat. Food is the key to her heart! 
9. Don’t ever give her choices. She cannot make decisions because all options to her are opportunities. If you force her to decide, she will be very unhappy. For example: “Should we eat out at Spur or Ocean Basket?” That’s wrong! Just say, “We’re going to Ocean Basket!” Of course, because it’s food, her mind will go off on a tangent and she’ll start thinking of all the other options. Let her speak her mind. But stop in front of Ocean Basket and go with the “Oops! My bad!” approach. She’ll get over it once she sees the menu. 
10. Take a photo. She loves visual aids. But don’t take one without her permission. She’s very private. If she sees you as a paparazzi stalker, she’ll ban you for life. 
11. You must always impress her intelligence or sense of humour. You don’t have to be intelligent, just versatile and funny. 
12. If you sense things are going wrong, give her food or make her laugh. That should terminate a lot of tension. If you can’t make her laugh, then it’s better to leave her alone. 
13. She changes like the wind. Be prepared for her versatility. Then she likes it and then she doesn’t. Build a bridge and move on. 
14. In relationships, she is very loyal. She’ll stick by your side through thick and thin. Until you judge her … Jana doesn’t judge people and is fair-minded. She believes everyone has rights (no wonder she’s studying LAW) and feelings, and deserves a place on earth. 
15. She LOVES cats. So if you don’t, move along!
16. She also loves Ellen DeGeneres. 

Jana is my one and only precious daughter. I love her so much and I’m so grateful that she is a part of my life. My wish for her is a life filled with rich blessings. 

Classifying a year: good or bad

At the start of the year, I experienced this feeling of negativity and even said that 2014 is one of my worst years ever. 

I dragged this sentiment with me over the months and believed it would remain a bad year until December 31. I was constantly negative, tired, worried, insecure, ill, and depressed.  I had to delve very deep to find the motivation and courage to continue ‘surviving’ the onslaught of badness every day.

As the year is now coming to an end, I am filled with anticipation and optimism. Suddenly things are changing. I can already feel goodness approaching and I honestly believe 2015 is going to be a much better year.

Is all of this true? Has 2014 really been such a bad year? Will 2015 be a good year? In changing my attitude, I discovered that bad and good years do not exist. Time is indiscriminate. It doesn’t dole out bad and good moments. Time is time. 

My attitude classifies the year. I take upon myself many responsibilities as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, and a Christian. My perspective regarding my actions for these responsibilities determines my attitude towards life.

Classifying a whole year as bad or good is limited. My needs and my wants differ from other people’s needs and wants. If circumstances prevent me from getting what I need or want, obviously my view will be negative. On the contrary, if I get exactly what I need or want, I will feel positive (even lucky, for that matter).

Being more flexible and positive will help me see life without classification. I can’t always have good times and I can’t always experience a smooth journey through life. Everything in life is impermanent and nothing stays the same. Some may think that if we care less, we will be less worried about life. That may be true, but I don’t want to go through life in neutral mode. Everything in life is interdependent. That means I need to care. 

If I want to be happy, I need to learn how to control my life on a daily basis. I shouldn’t look at happiness in years, but rather in hours. This means I have to focus on my needs and wants.  I know more or less what I need in life, but I don’t always know what it is that I want. I can see my actions and I can determine my feelings. My needs can be addressed. If I am thirsty, I can drink water. If I am tired, I can sleep. My wants are different though! They’re never constant and change very quickly. 

Life in itself is precious. I want to put more effort into being grateful.  I want to fight negativity and be more positive during the new year. And, should there be any bumps along the way, I want to be able to live through challenging moments without condemning the whole year.

i hear africa

This is another poem about Africa that will be in my poetry book, Breathing African Air. 

i hear africa 

the hoopoe calls hoop-hoop

hoop-hoop-hoop on forest

tree trunk, where high-pitched grey

hornbill ignores the kwe

of a grey go-away;

cicada swarms where sun

light warms and plays tymbals;

zizzing a song, crickets

chirping cheerily all

summer long; the turtle

dove mourns the heat and coos

its love song to the breeze;

green garden gnat and red

dotted ladybird, mute

marvels of the insect

world, wing their way from tree

to tree; in dappled shade

of green and yellow grass

hides mounds of red ground where

thousands of termites work;

the anteater’s long snout

goes about to forage

for the delicacy

of the veld; the whinny

and braying bark of a

zebra standing near, while

blue wildebeest ga-noo

in the arid karoo

and graze in the heat haze;

for days the lazy cat,

camouflaged, yawns and waits

for feline fury to

fetch the food and thunders

out a roar to warn the

cackling hyenas, and

hears their manic panic:

ooooh-whoop ooooh-whoop ooooh-whoop,

waiting in pack nearby;

the sun soon sets in shades

on africa and an

elephant bull trumpets

his call to a herd who

hears the rumble and chirps

to the rhythm of the

beat; the hippo, submerged,

surfaces and grunts on

land to roam on sand where

a crocodile once tanned

in the sun; the flutter

of feathers dust the ground

and the owl’s hoo-hooopooo

breaks the silence of dark;

a distant lone jackal

howls to the moon, and my

africa says goodnight

Breathing African Air

This is one of my poems about Africa. It is also the name of the poetry book I plan to publish.

Breathing African Air

Flightless dust bathes the air as the ostrich

dances on two-toed feet to Africa’s beat;

Musty air hangs humid and motionless

’til rain quenches the parched and red-hot heat –

This is Africa: the birthplace of man.

A rainbow stretches across basalt cliffs

and cascading falls; painted rock faces

imprint chronicles of man migrating

across desert, savannah, terraces –

This is Africa: the motion of man.

Small streams meander till rapids beat rock;

Turbulent whitewater erodes the way,

rumbling and tumbling to lose themselves in

cascading cataracts’ mist of spray –

This is Africa: unquenched quest of man.

On blue-green savannah in haze of heat

the springbok stands a statue and gazes;

Zebra camouflaged in shaded dry bush

flicks flies as robust buffalo grazes –

This is Africa: the treasure of man.

Marula mampoer makes monkey mellow;

While elephants forage fermented fruit,

even-toed giraffe spreads and almost splits,

an amazing feat for legs, to lap near coot –

This is Africa: for Safari man.

The albatross dynamically soars;

Nose tubed in anticipation it breathes

salt laden air, polluted like the depths,

where dolphin dances and dives, wrestles, wreathes –

This is Africa: the refuse for man.

Death in rotting carcasses call raptors

in their hordes, to scavenge the battlefields

where fear falls prey to foe; the hyena

eats as a volt of vultures pry for yields –

This is Africa, the wake waits for man.