Mind Storms

When I was a child, about eight years old, I used to have nightmares. I was in a maze of high hedges (all black and white – no colour), frantically looking for my mother. She would appear at the end of each passage calling my name: Karin, Karin, Karin! Loud at first and then softer and softer until I couldn’t hear her anymore. I would run and run and run, nauseated with a hypnotic spiral feeling in my mind. By the time I got to the end of the passage, she was gone. She would appear again at the end of the next passage.

When I was older, very much awake, I would have the same occurrence, the nauseated feeling, and the hypnotic spiral twisting in my mind. I know why I had those nightmares back then. My father had wanted to put my sister and me in a boarding school. I didn’t want to go and was scared of losing my mother. Even at an older age, whenever I felt that my mother and I would be separated, I would have the recurring feeling – wide awake, though. I never dreamed of a maze again, but I remain fascinated to this day with labyrinths. Guess who loves Alice in Wonderland and The Maze Runner?

Many years later, as an adult, I had different nightmares. Whenever my mind was troubled, I would dream of dark water masses. Again, I know why I dreamed of water. When I was 18, going on 19, I nearly drowned at Umdloti beach in KwaZulu-Natal. On the north side of Umdloti, there is a large natural rock formation that creates a tidal pool. It would seem the perfect swimming area, providing shelter from onshore currents. In effect, it’s a very dangerous place. My friend and I went for a swim one morning. We didn’t know about the rip current, which had no mercy for us and pulled us deeper into the sea. It was so strong! Within seconds, we were trapped in troughs behind walls of waves that kept breaking towards the beach. This experience not only initiated my fear for masses of water but also my fear of heights and claustrophobia. My friend, Charon, convinced me to try and swim against the tide. It was a useless enterprise.

Charon kept telling me to kick like crazy whilst swimming. I was so tired at one point that I stopped swimming. She came back for me and motivated me to carry on. We swam again for a while, but I was done! Charon then linked arms. She told me that we needed to swim through the wave. Instead of going up with the wave to the crest and being pushed back into a new trough when it plunged towards the beach, we would go halfway up and then swim through it. She counted to three and we went through the wave. We tumbled out of the sea, head over heels, onto the beach. My wise friend, Charon, then decided that we needed therapy. I was reluctant, at first, but followed her on jelly legs to the pool and we stayed in the water until ‘we’ felt better. Her therapy apparently worked for her – I spoke to her more recently and she couldn’t remember the incident. As for me, I still fear water masses at night. I also dream of dark water when I have a troubled mind. This happens very seldom, but the fact that it does honestly tells me that the pool therapy didn’t work for me.

Dreams don’t occur much in my life, nightmares more seldom. Perhaps my brain is too tired to dream. Perhaps it’s too academically wired because I work all the time. I cannot imagine that this is good for me, but it’s what I do. I work, work, work. I suppose I'm too tired to dream about unprocessed information. Then again, what do I know? I’m not a neuroscientist.

More recently, I dreamed that I was on my way to … well, somewhere. As I came out of a double-story apartment, one I cannot remember ever seeing in my life, I looked up and saw three tornadoes behind the mountain. I ran to my car thinking that I needed to find my children. As I ran around the building, I saw another three tornadoes on the other side of the building behind another mountain. Potgietersrus is settled between two mountain ranges. So, the mountains make sense. As I looked back in horror at the first three tornadoes and again at the three in front of me, the tornado in the middle lifted into the air and made three prong-like fingers (like a fork) before sinking down again behind the mountain. My greatest concern was for the safety of my children.

I woke up and remembered the dream quite vividly.

Not long thereafter, I dreamed of three tornadoes again. This time, I was at school on the sports field. I saw the three tornadoes in the exact position as the previous nightmare, behind the mountain. I started running towards the school. I ran towards a huge tree, like a strong Oaktree. As I passed it, I saw another three tornadoes behind another mountain. It was exactly the same as my first dream. The only difference was that in my first dream there was no wind. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. In my second dream, I was running against a strong wind towards my car. The sky was filled with sinister-looking clouds. While I was running, my son came running from out of nowhere and we ran together. I shouted above the sound of the wind that we needed to find my daughter.

When I woke up, I remembered the dream vividly. I remembered the first dream, too. I even compared the dreams. 

A few nights later, I had another dream about a tornado. It was night time and there were people outside in the garden, socializing. I walked out of my house and saw a huge purple and pink hourglass spinning in the air. It wasn’t big. It hovered above the trees, slowly spinning in the air. My mother came outside, was horrified when she saw it, and said it was a tornado. She ran inside the house and I was left standing, confused, on the patio. It didn’t look like a tornado at all and the people, somewhere in the dark garden, didn’t seem to be aware of it. They were talking and laughing as if nothing was wrong.

At the end of August, a few days after my first nightmare, Bennette Riekert died in a road accident. The truck he was travelling in had veered off the road and rolled. When I heard about his death, I remembered the tornadoes in my dream. I couldn’t stop thinking about the tornadoes, which obviously led to the second nightmare of tornadoes. A month after Bennette’s death, Louis Ruytenberg died in a road accident. His vehicle rolled just outside of town and he was thrown from the vehicle. Again, when I heard about the accident, I thought about the tornadoes.

Both Bennette and Louis attended the school where I teach. They were in my English classes from 2012 to 2015. They were in the same class as my son and sat alphabetically from 2013 onwards: Riekert, Ruytenberg, and Steyn. I feel compelled to say that I don’t believe in analyzing dreams, accidents happen, but this was a strange experience. I dreamed of the tornadoes long before each accident occurred. 

Now, all I can do is think about the tornadoes. All three dreams are very lucid in my mind and for the next few weeks, or months, until I’ve ‘reprogrammed’ my brain, this will be my small obsession!

I wrote a poem about my sea experience back in 1984 (my way of working through the trauma, I guess):

where were the sharks

let us swim she said

and i was keen

as the waves

danced

on the beach

and                                                                

we raced each other

through the water

both laughing

at

the sunny

day                             

and stopped from tiredness

and turned to see

our bright towels

on

the sandy                             

beach                                                            

where we had left them

i was shocked to

see them gone

and

i scanned the

beach                                                

till I found them far              

from where we had             

begun to                               

swim                                      

in dancing                            

waves                                                

high on the crest we                       

bobbed up and down         

treading dark                        

and                                        

thick water

salt concentration                           

treading dark dark               

and thick thick                     

salt                                         

water in                                 

awe                                                    

for we were warned of

the warm currents

the same day

we

swam from the

shore                                     

we were caught in a

trough with the walls

of the red

sea

on either

side                                                                

looming like a force

of doom and then

she said to

me

just kick like

mad                                                               

and i did as we

swam along the

trough against

a

mightier

force                                                  

much greater than my

will and tired

jelly legs

so

i stopped and

thought                                 

it useless to try

and swim against

the strength of

the

sea current

then                                       

she came back and said

hold on to my

ankles and

kick

the best you

can                                        

and i did but with

no strength left to

carry on

and

she knew me

well                                                    

enough to know that

she was fighting

more than just

a

sea current

so                                           

she linked our arms and

smiled at me and                 

suddenly                  

gave                          

me courage                          

not                                                                 

to just give in but

to give it one            

more chance and    

i

waited for                              

her                             

to tell me how to                  

tread the dark and               

thick thick salt                      

hell    

in which we                         

were                                                              

she waited for the

wave to build and

take us to

the

crest again

but                                                     

intervened with the

force saying that

we swim through

it

through the red

sea                                         

wall towards the beach

two arms linked tight

side by side

and

started to

count                                                             

three two one i heard

and went head first

through the wall

ripped

from her by

a                                             

powerful force while

tumbling tumbling

head over heels

and

heels over head

to                                                                    

be spat out on the

sea sand sea strand

spat out like

the

man jona

through                                                         

the enormous mouth of

the sea to lie

there alive

on

the sandy

beach                                                            

two friends side by side

no strength had i

but up she

got

and took me

to                                                                    

a swimming pool with

water feather

light and said

let

us swim a

while                                                             

it is therapy

and it would take

away the       

fear                

for the sea                            

and                                                    

the deep dark salty

death-spent minutes

we both had             

just

been to been           

through                                             

i listened to her                    

wisdom and thought                      

about the                  

day     

and wondered                                 

where                                                            

my wisdom was as 

i was stunned to

silence all

the

time she was

there                                                              

saving my life and

hers but my life

came first and

i

never thought

of                                                                    

showing gratitude

as i was stunned

to silence all

that

night and for

the                                                                 

rest of my life and

now as twenty

five years have

passed

i still dream

of                                

treading the dark and                     

thick salt water

and wake and

wonder

where were the

sharks                                   

where were the sharks

It takes courage to act!

We know with absolute certainty what it is that we DON'T want. The problem we have is that we don't really know what it is that we want in life.

Before we can analyze what we want in life, there are three things we need to do first:

1. We need to be grateful. 

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful. If we do not accept and show gratitude for who we are and what we have, we will never be satisfied with anything else.

2. "Know thyself" (Socrates).

When we are so busy working or enjoying life, serving and pleasing people, we will never have time to get to know ourselves. We will be blinded to who and what we are. We need to make time for ourselves and just be ourselves every day.

3. "To find yourself, think for yourself" (Socrates).

When we spend a lot of time with other people, we allow their perspectives, opinions, and attitudes to rub off on us. We become them. Alternatively, we become very argumentative. Spending time on our own is good. It gives us time to reflect. 

If we want a better life, we have to act on what we want. We need to take full responsibility for our life. That's how life works!

The following video is very motivational. It's powerful!

You can't connect the dots looking forward.
You can only connect them looking backward.

So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

You have to trust in something:

Your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever …

Because believing that the dots will connect down the road

It will give you the confidence to follow your heart,

Even when it leads you off the well-worn path –

And that will make all the difference.

Your time is limited,

So don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Don’t be trapped by dogma,

Which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.

Don’t let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

You’ve got to find what you love

And that is as true for work as it is for your lovers.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life

And the only way to be truly satisfied

Is to do what you believe is great work;

And the only way to do great work

Is to love what you do!

If you haven’t found it yet,

Keep looking and don’t settle.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

They somehow already know

What you truly want to become. ~ Steve Jobs.

But you’re going to have some ups and you’re going to have some downs.

Most people gave up on themselves easily!

You know the human spirit is powerful.

There is nothing as powerful – it’s hard to kill the human spirit!

Anybody can feel good when they have their health, their bills are paid, they have happy relationships.

Anybody can be positive then.

Anybody can have a larger vision then.

Anybody can have a lot of faith under those kinds of circumstances.

The real challenge of growth, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually,

Comes when you get knocked down.

It takes courage to act!

Part of being hungry when you’ve been defeated.

It takes courage …

To start over again.

Fear kills dreams.

Fear kills hope.

Fear … puts people in the hospital.

Fear can age you.

Can hold you back from doing something that you know within yourself that you are capable of doing,

But it will paralyze you.

At the end of your feelings is nothing,

But at the end of every principle is a promise.

Behind your little feelings, it might not be absolutely nothing at the end of your little feelings,
But behind every principle is a promise.

And some of you in your life,

The reason why you are not at your goal right now, because you're just all about your feelings,

All on your feelings, you don’t feel like waking up, so who does?

Every day you say ‘no’ to your dreams,

You might be pushing your dreams back a whole six months, a whole year!
That one single day, that one day you didn’t get up could have pushed your stuff back I don’t know how long.

Don’t allow your emotions to control you!

We are emotional, but we want to begin to discipline our emotions.

If you don’t discipline and contain your emotion, they will use you.

You want it and you’re going to go all out to have it!

It’s not going to be easy when you want to change,

It’s not easy. If it were in fact easy, everybody would do it;

But if you’re serious, you’ll go all out!

I’m in control here!

I’m not going to let this get me down! I’m not going to let this destroy me!

I’m coming back!

And I’ll be stronger and better because of it!

You have got to make a declaration

That this is what you stand for:

You’re standing up for your dream;

You’re standing up for peace of mind;

You’re standing up for health!

Take full responsibility for your life!

Accept where you are and the responsibility that you’re going to take yourself where you want to go.

You can decide that I am going to live each day as if it were my last!

Live your life with passion …

With some drive!

Decide that you are going to push yourself!

The last chapter of your life has not been written yet,

And it doesn’t matter about what happened yesterday;

It doesn’t matter about what happened to you!

What matters is: What are you going to do about it?

This year I will make this goal become a reality

I won’t talk about it anymore!

I Can.

I Can!

I CAN!

To persevere I think it’s important for everybody:

Don’t give up! Don’t give in!

There’s always an answer to everything.

Happiness is a consequence

Happiness is not something we should search for. It isn’t something we should desire and never have. Happiness is a consequence.

Every day we make a multitude of choices: Should I get up now or stay in bed for a few more minutes? Should I brush my teeth first? Should I wear this … or that …? Should I eat cereal or fry an egg? Should I throw in petrol now or after work? The amount of choices every day is always on our mind; some we are aware of and others are hidden. We often fall into a pattern with our daily routine and make the same choices every day only to find that there is that one specific moment where we actually want to do something else. We yearn for something different. 

Our daily choices have consequences and these consequences determine whether or not we are happy. Through our actions, happiness happens. It is then apt to see happiness as a by-product of what we choose to do or choose not to do. For example, Acts 20:35 says: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving”. When we do good things for others, we will feel good.

When we feel good about ourselves, we tend to make better choices. We develop a sense that we matter. When we do things wholeheartedly and enthusiastically, we tend to enjoy what we are doing. When we do things in faith rather than fear, we will always want to do more. In other words, where there is self-love, there is happiness; where there is commitment, there is happiness; where there is enthusiasm, there is happiness; and where there is faith, there is happiness.

Optimistic people will experience more happiness than pessimists. People who have good morals will experience more happiness than those who always seek to do wrong. Happiness also belongs to those who are satisfied, accepting, flexible, tolerant, and easy to forgive. Gratitude leads to happiness.

Many believe that happiness is found in material things. Shopaholics will be quick to tell us where they “purchase” their happiness. Needless to say, material things do not necessarily bring us happiness. Happiness is not determined by money. Winning the lottery so that we can resign from that job we hate will not bring happiness. Being rich so that we can buy idleness, comfort and everything else that we desire will not bring happiness.

Happiness is not a wild goose chase. It comes incidentally. Happiness is made up of small fractions of seconds that happen now. We live now and should do good now to the people who are with us now. Living in the past or the future will not bring happiness. These acts are time wasted. Now is the time to enjoy what life has to offer. If there are no good opportunities, create good opportunities. Be kind to others. Smile more often. Focus on the positive things and change a negative attitude to a more optimistic one. It takes time and a lot of effort to change our perspective and behaviour, but, if we accept the challenge, we will grow and become better people than we were yesterday. In the end, we will reap the rewards.

If we can live our life to the best of our ability and make the best of every bad situation, we can go forward feeling happy. If we can maintain and preserve our health, we are blessed and have no reason to be sad. 

Life goes on. We only need to go on with it, grateful that we can.

Gallstones

I’m not one to go to the doctor much because for the past ten years I have always been diagnosed with stress, depression, anxiety, and, more recently, menopause and changes in hormone levels. 

I have been suffering for two years. In these two years, I went to the doctor twice. On both occasions, I was told that my hormone levels were changing. I had heartburn, hiccoughed after eating and couldn’t eat a lot of food at a time. It always felt as if I had something hard in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t lose weight; instead, I gained a lot of weight. The worst part was that I wasn’t really eating because I wasn’t feeling well. 

At the end of November 2015, I decided to go to the doctor again. At last, for the first time in years, I was diagnosed with something new: gallstones. I needed to go for a sonar and make sure, though. I made an appointment that same day. I was feeling awful, but got in the car and drove the 54 km to the nearest radiologist. And it was confirmed. My gallbladder was full of gallstones. 

I wasn’t eager to have my gallbladder removed, so I decided to flush my gallbladder. I did this twice in a fortnight. After the second flush, I was so ill. 

Eventually, I went back to the doctor. I was in pain and couldn’t eat. Surgery seemed the only solution. 

On the 11^th of January, I was wheeled into theatre and had laparoscopic surgery to remove the gallbladder. When I saw the gallstones, all 8 of them, and the size of them, I realized that no amount of flushing would ever get them out. Whether there were more but smaller, I do not know. I never asked. At least, I am consoled into believing that I have done the right thing. 

Now I have to adapt to living without my gallbladder. It’s day four of recovery and I still have a lot of pain. I don’t feel well and all I really want is to have my health back. 

Change is inevitable

We tend to wait for the start of a new year to make new resolutions because it symbolizes new beginnings. None of us ever wake up on a Tuesday or Wednesday (or any other day) of the month with the same feeling for renewal. We feel about renewal on New Year's day exactly the same as we feel about ourselves on our birth date. Nothing compares to the feelings of anticipated excitement (or uncertainty) on the days prior to that specific date and the actual day of our birth. It’s magical. We feel empowered, special, and just so very, very significant on that day.  

Sadly, none of our resolutions really last for more than a few days or weeks into the new year. Our resolutions are metamorphic; what we initially wanted to change and what eventually does change can be seen as a subtle process – we hardly ever notice the transition. If our resolutions dissolve within hours, days, or weeks, we shouldn’t feel weak. It’s not a lack of willpower that prevents our resolutions from materializing. The actual problem is that we’re trying to bring about change incorrectly.

We can only initiate exterior change once we have made inner changes. We need to change our pattern of thinking first before we can change any habits or our lifestyle. If we want to change our minds, we need to get used to the new perspective and this takes time. We cannot decide on the 28^th of December that we’re going to change from the first day of January.  

Changing our minds is very complicated because we are constantly bombarded with information and change, in our environment and the world. Very few of us really like change. We tend to become comfortable with what we know and just the thought of change brings a measure of anxiety and stress. Change requires ‘effort’ on our part to adapt. Because we are rigid in our thoughts, we first shun the idea of change before we accept it. With the start of a new year, we impulsively and excitedly think or say things without really understanding what these changes will entail.

Change is inevitable. Each day of our life we experience some form of change and, more often than not, we have absolutely no control over it. Any change that we experience creates emotional fluctuations. Our emotions can be likened to the desert landscape, which is prone to change when the winds shift the dunes and form new sand formations. Any changes we experience are emotionally challenging because all the fixed points that we know seem to disappear, leaving us disoriented and insecure. Disorientation and a lack of security bring fear. We become nostalgic about what we had, especially when the change we experienced was radical. For example, the loss of employment, divorce, or death in the family can impact our lives dramatically. For many of us, it becomes difficult to let go. And if we don’t let go, it becomes difficult to move forward.

In the midst of change, we have to find our own unique way towards a new ‘comfort zone’. Everyone experiences change differently, and, in our attempts to cope and move forward to betterment and safety, we find ourselves on a solo journey. The key to success on this journey is to make sure that we connect with someone we can trust. While we travel alone, experiencing life in our own unique way, we still need to share our experiences and discuss our thoughts, emotions, and self-revelations so that we don’t end up repressing them.

Life is unpredictable. We cannot understand, own or control it. The only thing we can do is strengthen our minds and our hearts. We can gain knowledge of the world and everything in it. We can read about other people and their experiences. We are not the first people ever to experience change. Many people before us have suffered loss, pain, and trauma, and many people after us will suffer the same. We can look at their stories and coping strategies, and through this become aware of what life can throw at us. We can imitate their attitudes or strategies, but in the end, we need to do what must be done to survive the onslaught of life happening to us and around us.

Most importantly, we need to remind ourselves constantly that nothing ever stays the same. We must anticipate change. We need to be aware of the change so that every time something does change, we will focus on becoming more resilient.   

The power lies within us

It’s almost time for the new school year to begin, and soon teachers and children will be returning to the classrooms. A greater percentage does not want to be there. Just the word ‘school’ connotes despondency. Many children want their freedom. They don’t want to be educated. For them, reading, writing, learning, and doing anything academic serves as punishment. Many teachers don’t want to prepare, teach, assess, etc. This is obvious when we hear them complain about the declining standard of work, behaviour, professionalism, parental interest, and the education system.

The purpose of sending children to school is to prepare them for society. Everyone who finishes school, college, or university will eventually find a job and pay tax. By educating the nation, the country will obviously be successful. Revenues paid to the government will see to it that the country’s infrastructure is maintained and advanced (i.e. roads, bridges, railway lines, buildings, salaries for government employees, social benefits – including the welfare system – medical benefits, international commerce deals, etc.). Taxes are also used to redistribute wealth from the rich to the poor (that is why those who are better qualified and remunerated pay more in taxes). It’s not just about paying taxes. It’s also about service. People who are required to do a specific job will be able to do the job more effectively and efficiently if they are better educated. In South Africa, the pass rate is 30%, which is detrimental to the future of the country. Education determines the workforce of a country. Instead of bringing the pass rate down, we should be encouraging a better quality of teaching and learning. We should also encourage better qualifications (doctoral or master’s degree) and remuneration for teachers, who are responsible for educating the nation.  

The biggest problem with teachers and children (and many people in general) is that very few of them want to be effective. Very few of them want to ‘work’ for a living. Very few know what their passion is and very few do what they are passionate about. This leads to dissatisfaction and a legacy of negativity.

When we have the power we are able to work towards doing what we are passionate about. In order to have power, we need knowledge and perception. Knowledge brings awareness and gives us power. The more we know, the more we can do. That is why learning is so important. All of life is a learning experience. Learning is not only done at school. It is done at home, in church, in a shopping center… it is done everywhere. Perception also brings awareness. It is the key to finding solutions to our problems. Once we understand a problem, it will dissolve. When we have knowledge and perception, we have awareness.

Awareness gives us a choice. We can either control people/situations or allow the people/situations to control us. Without knowledge and perception, we have no control. We will not be able to understand how things work and we will not know what is happening in life. We will not be able to make effective and conscious choices. Being aware leads us towards making changes. We will understand what needs to be changed and what the reasons are for making these changes.

Very few people have power. They have the opposite, which is fear. Power comes from within us. Inner power is what we believe. Because people influence our beliefs, parents, and teachers have a great responsibility to help children to believe in themselves. Fear comes from outside of us. Different factors, people, and circumstances feed our fears. If we believe we have no power over something, like a subject, e.g. Mathematics, we will become afraid of it. We will start doubting our abilities and the outcome can only be a failure. Our belief is based on awareness or ignorance. We either know or we don’t know. The problem is we are quick to give up because we aren’t willing to improve. We aren’t willing to put in the effort to grow or develop. We believe we are stupid and will never be able to do what we fear, and then failure becomes a habit. The truth is that IQ can improve with hard work.   

Too many people (including teachers, parents, and children) prefer ignorance. They avoid self-improvement and self-empowerment. Many teachers, for example, study to become educators between the ages of 19 and 22. They then teach with that qualification for the rest of their lives. They do not study further at any other time in their career and eventually end up in a rut and cannot teach effectively.

Parents are just as guilty. Many believe that the school and church are responsible for educating their children. Many parents, especially those who lack good educational qualifications, do not inspire their children to learn. They have absolutely no involvement in their children’s school careers. These are the parents who are quick to criticize the teachers and education system.

Learning starts in the womb. It is a life experience. We never stop learning. If ever we want our children to be successful, we need to encourage hard work and learning. We also need to focus on value-based education so that children, teachers, and parents will stop focusing on academic results and look at the child as a person who is being prepared for society. We need so much more to survive in the real world than an average of 90% grades on our school report, and so, we need to focus on preparing children to meet the challenges that they may face in life and in their academic careers. By doing this, we will be developing adults with healthy relationships, positive social behaviours, social and emotional development, resilience, the ability to adapt, and the ability to allow change.

We tend to dislike personal discomfort and personal suffering, and we also dislike seeing so much suffering in the world. We want to make a difference, but often feel that we have no power to do so. Yet, even the smallest contribution can make a difference if we are willing to try. We are responsible for our lives, our education, and our future. If we start by looking at the world and ourselves in a different light (a positive light, a powerful light), we will grow in our belief that we have the power to change for the better and make a difference. Then, with that power, we can help and empower others to change for the better. The power lies within us!

Engulfed by sadness

Sometimes, suddenly, without reason, we find ourselves engulfed by sadness. 

We continue with our daily tasks, pretending to be okay, but the intensity of our feelings remains with us throughout the day. They are fragments of unfinished experiences. They return to remind us that we have suffered and that we have difficulty in letting go. Many will say, "Let go and there will be healing!" Yet, we hold on! We hold on because they are our experiences. We are even more possessive over those specific experiences that have caused us so much pain. 

Who can understand what we have been through? God knows!

Does this mean that we have no faith because we are sad? No. It only means that we are human.

While we hide our hurt and choke in secrecy on all the pain, we are indeed moving forward. (Where else can we go other than forward?) But we don't move forward in isolation. There is a myriad of angels and people who continually do things, often small and seemingly insignificant things, that carry us through the darker days. And so, there is always hope. There is always light. There is always some form of motivation to carry on ...

Remember: A wave of sadness is not the same as being depressed.