We are defined by the commitments we make!

A school is a place where a child is given the opportunity to develop in different ways, whether it is on a cultural, physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual level. Not all learners are able to perform to their ultimate potential.

Some work hard to achieve good grades and some don't bother at all. Great attention is given to those who achieve good grades. They are treated well! They are regarded as the "cream of the crop". The thing to keep in mind is that our grades do not define us. 

  

Eveline Girls' High, Bulawayo, March 1980

When I think back to my high school years, I distinctly remember the trauma. It was caused by change. I started my high school education in Zimbabwe (Rhodesia back then) in 1978. I was 12 years old (turning 13 in October) and happy because my life was normal and everything was going according to plan. I attended high school and completed Form 1 and Form 2 (Grades 8 and 9) at Eveline Girls’ High, Bulawayo. In March 1980, my father made the great announcement. We were leaving the country and moving to South Africa. 

1980! What a year that was! When we left the country on the 21st of March, I had just finished the first term of the year at Eveline in Form 3 (Grade 10). My father stayed behind in Zimbabwe, so we had to stay with my grandparents for three months. The second term of 1980 was spent at Witbank High School. I was 14 years old in Std 8 (Grade 10). I had to choose new subjects and cope with Afrikaans as a second language (Higher Grade). 

My father came to South Africa in July and we moved to Springs. I spent my third term at Springs Girls’ High. I had to change subjects again. I remember the principal, Miss Richardson, telling my father that I would not make the year. My age and results from Witbank High motivated her to decide this. I wasn't emotionally mature enough for Grade 10 (or South Africa) either. Of course, my father insisted I would cope. The other teens in my grade were a year older than me and the work was very difficult. I was scared because I had to live up to my father’s expectations. In my matric year, I was 16 years old ( I only turned 17 in October 1982). My marks were low, but, as always, I had managed to pass all my subjects. 

Did my marks have an effect on my future? No! I worked in Johannesburg for a year, studying at Lyceum College, part-time: The Art of Writing. At the end of that year, I decided to study on a permanent basis. I enrolled at an Afrikaans education college and mastered both a language and a diploma in education. I chose to make a success of myself. 

My marks on my matric certificate do not define me in any way.

NWU, Potchefstroom, November 1987

We are given so many opportunities in life. There are so many choices to make. Sometimes we make choices that we later regret. It's a life of trial and error. Many of the choices we make are irreversible. Once made, we have to live with the outcomes. That's what education is. The truth of the matter is that learning doesn't stop at the end of a school career. We never stop learning.

I always look for one thing to learn each day. I don't have to remember it. It's treasured in my subconscious. Just knowing that I'm learning something, anything, makes me grow. It brings more than knowledge. It brings wisdom. The new knowledge can make a difference in my life. If it can, I try to utilize it. If it can't, I forget about it. 

What we don't realize is that we're discovering so many things every day. Our brain absorbs so much information. Because we don't concentrate on everything, especially the finer details in each minute, hour, or day, we don't notice it. Being busy doesn't mean our eyes don't detect things.

We are truly blessed. Even if our marks are low at school or our job after school is not what we really dreamed of doing, it doesn't mean we are a failure in society. It just means we have to work for better things in the future when circumstances change. Sometimes we have to make a choice and make the circumstances change. Nothing in life is useless. We have to open our eyes and minds and identify opportunities. We have to try and find a sense of vision in everything that happens in and around our living space. Instead of watching the same television programmes, we should look for something different. Instead of sleeping during the off hours of our busy schedule, we can try doing something creative, fill in a crossword puzzle or start exercising. Enriching ourselves will never harm us. 

The key to making things different requires some perspiration (literally or figuratively). One word sums it all up: effort. The tragedy in life is that very few people put any effort into their daily lives. The majority wake up and after another seemingly senseless day go to sleep again.

Life is all about commitment. The quality of our lives improves by the amount of commitment we are prepared to make.

Life is what we make of it.

Winston Churchill said, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." 

The greatest problem we face is the fact that we're never satisfied with what we get and we're not really willing to give.

Life is not a board game.

It's the real thing and reality is hard. We are given so many opportunities every day and we have the freedom to choose. We can choose what to follow or leave. The only problem is, in making these choices we end up feeling either grateful or disappointed. Continuance is the key to survival. Carry on. Just carry on.

People who are unhappy or dissatisfied with their lives are blinded to their good fortune. They don't realize their feelings are the root of a creative process. It's when people are really down and out that they're at their creative best. Nevertheless, instead of giving back to society, through realizing and cultivating their capacities and talents, they sit back and complain. What a shame.

The world is truly our oyster.

If we can learn to look at the bigger picture instead of just focusing on ourselves and the little role we play in the Play of Life, we will be able to strive for greater things.

True success and happiness can be found in opportunities to improve the lives of other people. It's an ongoing journey where we have to set goals and find ways to accomplish them.

We need to set the bar higher every time we achieve something. We should never stop to rest. We have enough hours in every given day to sleep. That is when we rest.

During our waking hours, we need to discover who we are and what we want in life. We need to take control of our lives. We need to learn to turn our complaints into opportunities. We need to have dreams. We need to go beyond our dreams and make some of them a reality. We need to learn to find a way to give back to society and be the change we want to see in our community. We need to strive to be more.

In so doing, we'll be giving back to ourselves. We'll discover the feeling of inner pride, a good sense of pride, when we can say to ourselves, "I did that!" or "I made that happen! Wow!"

Life is rich. Life is what we make of it. Without goals, we're on a senseless journey to the grave. So, let's make life worthwhile because "time and tide wait for no man" and before we know it, our good years will have passed.

Painfully true!

About two and a half years ago, I fell. I was trying to potty train my miniature dachshund after he had piddled in the house again. I've been potty training my dogs for years. I catch them red-handed, rub their nose in the spot where they urinated, and say “NO!” in a firm and decisive way. It's a technique I've used for many years and it has always worked for me. I have the authoritative attitude and voice to make it work, so I can honestly boast of having obedient dogs over the years.

But, I digress …

Tripping and falling were not part of the training session. (Yes! I scared the pup and he never piddled in the house again, but I won't recommend it to pet-lovers house-training their animals.)

My shoulder suffered a terrible blow that day. I should have gone to a doctor at the time, but I collapsed on my bed with self-pity for my injury instead. As time passed, the shoulder became a constant problem. I forgot about the fall. At some point, I started thinking it was arthritis. I eventually went to a doctor and he sent me to see a specialist (X-rays only show that much and as far as the shoulder is concerned CT or MRI scans prove to be a better choice to check for damage). The ultimate diagnosis would be arthroscopic surgery.

My reaction was to see a second doctor for a second opinion. Fortunately, during the check-up, I remembered the fall. Twelve injections later with anti-inflammatory medication, a lot of subjected pain and rest, and rehabilitation therapy, my shoulder was as good as new. Then, six months later, I managed to injure the shoulder again. (I have to learn not to carry heavy things around or pull and push heavy objects.)

For a year I managed to cope with the pain. The inflammation and the prolonged and persistent pain eventually affected my blood pressure, so I returned to the doctor. After the fifth injection, I started contemplating the possibility of arthroscopic surgery.

In all that time, I had learned to deal with pain, day and night - especially night. Now, I have always believed in the power of the mind. I know exactly what the power of positive thinking can do for me. I know my limits regarding my personal pain threshold and I know that more often than necessary my anxiety levels are higher than they should be. Nevertheless, what really impressed me more than anything else in that whole feat was what I had assessed pain to be. 

A lot of people believe pain is a symptom. Others think it's all in the head. In my case, I treated the pain as if it were all in the head. Whenever I was busy at work, positive and focused, the pain didn't matter. Anger and disappointment as well as anxiety and bouts of depression fed my pain. I never took pain medication much, only when it really got to me. Most of the time, I processed the pain and managed to get over it, but it was a persistent, nagging pain, which only got worse when I used my arm in specific ways. Needless to say, I stopped using my arm to avoid the acute pain and dealt with the rest the best I could.

Unfortunately, after a long period of constant pain, my mind reached a point where it just wouldn't take the pain anymore. That's when I'd visit the doctor. It was my way of breaking the stress-anxiety-pain cycle. Yes, the injections hurt. For four days after the injections, I was numbed with pain. I found myself clenching my teeth and had to force myself to relax. Taking pain medication three times a day helped for the first two hours of the pain-filled eight. The rest of the time, I had to grit my teeth and bear it.

All in all, I've learned that modifying my thoughts and learning to relax really works. When I'm calm, I seem to function better. I'm able to cope with the pain and control it. My perception of pain has helped me a lot. Pain is subjective, and I've learned to respond to it well. I am grateful for the fact that I haven't become dependent on painkillers.

I've been successful through the power of positive thinking, which has made me marvel at how amazing the brain really is. It can do so much more than we realize.  

It's time to take control

Everyone has the same amount of time each day. How you manage your time is very different from how others manage theirs. If you feel that you're spending most of your time doing crisis management instead of time management, it's probably because you don't plan ahead. The secret lies in planning, prioritizing, and the ability to say "No!". How can you go about doing this? Well, here are a few steps to consider:

1. Purchase a diary and plan your actions for each day. Write down everything that needs to be done. Focus on everything that is a priority for that specific day. Everything else can be put on a scheduled plan for the next day or later in the week.
2. When you wake up, follow the plan. Do what is written down. Unless it's an emergency, don't add anything to the daily plan. Rather say "No!" and add whatever is new to the schedule for another day.
3. A lot of people procrastinate. Make it a habit to start early and on time, and end everything on time.
4. Multi-tasking is a mistake. If you give something your undivided attention and do it to the best of your ability, you will be saving more time than trying to kill two birds with one stone. The proverb has potential, but in many circumstances, it is not effective. When you spend time doing something, do it properly the first time.
5. If you don't say "No!" and you add unnecessary tasks to your daily plan, you will be changing time management back into crisis management.
6. It's important to realize that time management not only affects you but other people too. So, learn to respect other people's time. You have your opinion of what is important and they have their opinion of what is a priority. Communicate and make effective arrangements so that things get done.

Time management is possible. Plan, prioritize and learn to say "No!". When this doesn't seem to work in your life, you need to ask yourself a very important question: Who is in control of your life? 

You have to be in control of your life. If your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, children, friends, pets, boss, job, or other people or "stuff" control your life, you are a slave of the system in which you live. You will always be out of control, negative and unhappy. Making sacrifices continually for other people and compromising your time every day robs you of your inner peace.

Take control of your life. After all, it's your life. Spend your time wisely. If you're not happy, you need to find out what it is that's causing you to feel unhappy. Communicate, negotiate, suggest, and always show respect, but find a way to make things better.

Life is hard and it doesn't get easier with age. To lead a quality life, you have to make responsible choices. Make the right choices to make a positive difference, not only in your life but in the life of those around you.

The power of thought

It's all in the power of the mind. Giving up is relatively easy. Fighting back is hard.

Getting up every morning to face a normal day is a basic routine. We go through the motions because we have to and because we can. Whether we want to is completely a different question, but we do what we have to do through the power of the mind.

I think it was Robert Pirsig that said the place to improve the world is first in one's own heart, head and hands. That of course is applicable to any given day: to improve a day lies within ourselves - within the heart, within the mind, within action and within reach. The art of survival would then be never giving up and being relentless about it.

I can't remember a single day in my life where I stayed in bed because I just didn't want to face a day. It doesn't matter how despondent I become, I just can't stay in bed. Why? Simply because my mind won't allow it. I think too much.

What is it exactly that makes us think a lot? What makes our mind go off on a tangent and accumulate thoughts? Why do we have to contend with so many thoughts in our head at one given time? It's like a total thought attack. The idea of a blank mind seems so surreal.

When I'm idle, whether I'm sitting in front of the television or lying in bed after a good night's rest, I always suffer a thought attack. Not that I really watch T.V. or sleep easily. I suffer from insomnia and have to work really hard and very late to get my head to rest on a pillow.

I think the key to surviving the world we live in, with all its ups and downs, is not to stop thinking as such, but rather to channelize our thoughts in positive directions. The fact that we think is just that, a fact. We think. The focus then should be on what we think. It's not the quantity of thought that should matter, but the quality of thought.

We may have a restless mind. There's nothing wrong in having one. We just need to learn patience to change detail into foresight, idle ideas into opportunities and knowledge into action. 

A mind can be filled to the brim with knowledge, but that doesn't suggest a person is educated. Knowledgeable, but not educated. Education lies in applying knowledge. If it's never applied, all the knowledge just makes us opinionated and unpopular.

The power of the mind and the power of our thoughts make us who we are. The force of habit is to look at a dark cloud and be negative. There lies the challenge: to look at a situation or person and think positive thoughts. Align yourself with a positive force and be everything you can be with the power of a positive mind. It's a tactic to beat all negativity. If you think you can, it's probable. If you believe you can, it's more than just possible.

No matter where you are, no matter who you're with, always remember: you are what you constantly think. Make a difference through the power of positive thought.   

Endless possibilities

One of the most difficult people with whom to work is a person who exercises partially biased favouritism.

Now there's some redundant thought!

Another difficult person within the working environment is the one who simply refuses to listen. Oh, they hear you alright! They just don't listen.

Not listening to your peers or colleagues is a serious faux pas. Especially those in a senior position need good listening skills. Those who don't have these skills should learn the art of listening as quickly as possible. They should learn to stand still, make eye contact, show confidence, and meet their peers, colleagues, employees, whoever halfway. There are so many barriers that affect communication. One, in particular, is when personalities are incompatible.

At some point in life, you are bound to find yourself in a situation where you have to deal with difficult people, people with whom you just don't get along. Difficulties arise simply because you are incompatible, but that shouldn't hinder you. Don't allow impossible people to frustrate you. Stand your ground and be confident. You may feel you are the only person who is not getting along with that particular person, but if you don't see eye to eye, it's not your fault. Oil and water simply don't mix. It doesn't matter how the person interacts with others, if you're not getting along with that person, you're not to blame.

An important goal is to protect your self-esteem. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is constantly trying to portray you as inadequate or in the wrong, take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. People are opinionated, but that's exactly it: mere opinions. You don't have to defend yourself against them.

In all relationships, be the manager. Manage the situation. Don't allow anger or frustration to create opportunities that will make you say or do something irresponsible or regrettable.  As the manager, you have to prevent damage to yourself rather than do damage control. One of the best resources is silence. With that comes listening. Those who are silent learn to observe. They are the ones who listen.

Working with impossible people and impossible situations requires wisdom. Seeing that opposites attract, remember to be a possible person during impossible times. Have an attitude open to endless possibilities!

Leadership skills can be maintained by anyone, even those who are not leaders. Self-improvement is a step forward in the right direction. Just imagine what the world would be like once filled with corrected attitudes.

It matters who you are, but it also matters who other people are. Everyone counts!

The sub-conscious and self-motivation

We were in a short meeting yesterday, during the second break. Motivational speaker, Callie Roos, came with 12 or 13 or 14 specific points to discuss with us.

I didn't take notes. At that specific time, I was too tired. In fact, many people didn't take notes. They just listened. He kept telling us to remember the points. He repeated them several times throughout the forty-minute talk. I walked out of that room remembering six or seven. 

You see, the conscious mind can only hold around seven pieces of information in short-term memory. The subconscious mind, however, stores all the knowledge you've ever acquired. Everything you've ever read, heard, thought, or imagined is held within its immense bank vaults. So, what he said is in my subconscious and I will be able to draw upon it when I need to.

The mind has been described as such:

The conscious mind is like a yacht. The subconscious mind is like the ocean.

When the conscious mind struggles to remember something and eventually gives up, the subconscious mind trawls through its vast database, making connections between various bits of information, and eventually retrieves the information that is needed at a given time.

When you are experiencing a problem, you shouldn't struggle with it. Pass it on to the subconscious mind. Don't focus on the problem. Focus on the solution. When you allow the subconscious mind to work, it will eventually give you a hint or a mental image of the solution. While you continually struggle to focus on the problem with the conscious mind, the subconscious is working, processing, and making connections. The only problem is, your conscious mind is not opening opportunities for any sub-conscious breakthroughs and you're stuck focusing on the problem.

Listening to Callie Roos was very interesting. I'm sure the points I have consciously forgotten will surface one day when I need them.

What is motivation? One definition is that it's the act or process of motivating. The secret lies in the word "process". After a motivational talk, the listener needs time to think about what has been said. Going back to the classroom directly after the talk is an obstacle within the definition.

One of the seven points I remember is "inspiration". We need inspiration on a daily basis and it lies within ourselves to find inspiration. I find it in my classroom when I teach. Facial expressions of amusement or wry disappointment inspire me. Moods inspire me.

In life, you should be your own personal motivational speaker. You have the capability of moving yourself on an emotional level through your normal day-to-day train of thought. 

How? 

• Gain confidence in yourself. You are unique. No one is like you. You have to like who you are. 
• Learn to focus on all your positive attributes. By doing this, you'll secure personal credibility. 
• Maybe you want to climb a mountain, but realistically, you can't. Accept it and go out. Go and climb a tree. When you're at the height where you feel comfortable, perceive yourself in a positive light: you are a climber of small trees and be happy with it. Why be more? If climbing makes you happy then climb, but love yourself in the process. 
• Be realistic. Accept your limitations and be happy. 
• Strive to achieve a higher goal at a later stage when you're used to being comfortable with the attained height, but don't want too much too soon. 
• You have to obtain trust in yourself if you want to be happy.

You don't have to find the best time of any given day to motivate yourself. Self-motivation should be like breathing: constant and with purpose. Being proactive in fighting negativity is the greatest fight of all, but it makes you tired. That's why laughter is necessary. So when all else fails, laugh. Even when there's nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  ~ Jean Houston.