My African Home

Some days, I remember Bulawayo. I was fourteen when I left, and now I am sixty. Yet the city lives in me still. Undimmed. Unforgotten.

I remember the crisp morning air and the heavy, stifling embrace of summer’s heat. School days at Baines and Eveline were long, but in the afternoons, our pool’s water was a refuge. Cool, quiet, and soothing. 

The journey to Eveline Girls’ High on the city bus, from Paddonhurst to city centre, passed jacarandas standing sentry, their violet robes like solemn guardians. The city hall teemed with the pulse of life — the bus stop thronged, and the market spilled its wealth of colour — fruits, flowers, and wares wrought by patient hands. From there, my sister and I walked to school to join the late row for assembly.

I remember how fond I was of the area around city hall. There dwelt an air of dignity in the city whenever I visited Haddon & Sly and Meikles. The city with its broad streets was never loud; it didn’t emphasize any clamour. It bore itself as an elder does — worn, wise, and watchful. 

In those days beneath the endless blue, before the world began to unravel, I was whole. Complete.

This I remember.

Yet, I am a child of Africa.

Born in South Africa, yet raised within the beating heart of another land, I know this continent. I know it by the scent of soil and the song of dawn’s first birds. The hadeda, Piet-my-vrou, and thrush, to name but a few.

I knew more about wild animals than farm animals. I recall the monkeys at Maleme Dam, bold and untroubled. The crocodiles gliding like shadows through the waters of Lake Kyle. The blue duiker flitting through the emerald hush of the rainforest at Mosi-oa-Tunya, where the mist rises above cascading waters.

I remember the orphans, lions, eagles, antelope, with every  visit to Chipangali; wildness preserved in trust.

I remember the fish eagle’s cry at dawn on the radio, clear and haunting, as if the land itself spoke. I listened to Afrikaans on the radio with quiet wonder, not fully understanding all that was said, yet knowing with certainty: it was part of me. My heritage. 

Nature is a quiet reminder that there are no borders. Trees flow across them: the flame trees of Matabeleland and Limpopo, their scarlet blossoms ablaze against the sky. The msasa, whose copper leaves turn in the vernal air, the yellow fever, kierrieklapper, mopane, acacia, and baobab.

Both here and there, I have wandered past wild hibiscus and flowering aloes, beneath the arching boughs of flamboyant trees in bloom. I have breathed the sweetness of yesterday-today-and-tomorrow mingled in the heat of the late afternoon. I have seen bougainvillaea climbing walls, and plumbago tangled with memory.

I know the scents of lemon bush, the stubborn brilliance of impala lily, the solemn grace of proteas, the sunburnt cheer of gazanias as they greet the light, and the strelitzia in bloom.

I have walked on mighty stones — not those that pave the city’s streets, but those that raised kingdoms. I have stood among the silent ruins of Great Zimbabwe, where the past rises from the earth in solemn majesty. I have heard of Mapungubwe — the ancient hill where golden rhinos once lay buried. I have stood on Matopos, and I have breathed the mist that crowns the Nyanga mountains, where silence reminds me that the world is cradled in the hands of its Creator. 

I remember the Bulawayo storms gathering in the hush of hot afternoons. Swollen with sudden quiet before the sky was rent asunder. The scent of rain on parched earth rose sharp and electric as the first drops fell. Granite drew lightning like a lodestone, and the heavens answered with fury. These were not gentle rains, but fierce and living things — storms that knew their names. Like horses wild, pulling chariots of sombre cloud, they charged across the vault of heaven, cleaving the light and reminding the land to whom it belongs.

I remember the taste of home. The warmth of sadza held in the hand and eaten with marog. The sweetest oranges ever known, sun-warmed and dust-kissed, their juice running down my wrists in childhood’s careless delight. I found comfort in the salt and spice of biltong, the smoke of a Saturday braai curling into the dusk. Crisp samosas, malva pudding, melktert, and koeksisters — tastes borne across borders, stitched into memory like thread through cloth.

These are not mere memories to me. They are roots.

I left a country, yes.

But I shall never leave Africa.

Faith is Quiet Courage

Last night, I was watching the series Numbers when a line from one of the characters made me pause. He said: “Real faith doesn’t transcend knowledge. It can only adapt to it and embrace it.” 

The word real lingered in my mind. Why “real”? Is there another kind of faith? 

Let me start with the definition, because, while we all assume we know what faith means, there may be something we haven’t seen or understood. Faith is commonly defined as a strong belief or trust in someone or something, especially without needing absolute proof. The Oxford Dictionary describes faith as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. The Merriam-Webster says it is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof; belief and trust in and loyalty to God. 

How you understand or use the word faith all depends on what you’re emphasizing. For example, a philosopher will focus on belief without proof. A religious person will emphasize trust and loyalty to God. And many will see faith as confidence in someone or something. 

What does the Bible say? 

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV): “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” 

According to the book of Hebrews, faith gives tangible weight to our hopes. Faith transforms hope from an emotional desire into a spiritual certainty. Without faith, hope is fragile; with faith, hope is sustained, even when life offers no visible reason to keep believing. 

Hope is portrayed as forward-looking, while faith is the present assurance that the things we long for are not in vain. Faith doesn’t eliminate uncertainty, but provides a foundation in the midst of it. Hope thrives because faith makes it real, even when reality says otherwise.  

Faith can take many forms. Spiritually, there’s saving faith, doctrinal faith, and mystical faith. Each reflects a person’s connection to the divine. Psychological faith is emotional, rational, or rooted in self-belief. We see it in the way people live with trust or confidence. Philosophical and cultural perspectives express include existential faith, faith in humanity, or faith in institutions. Each of these types of faith trust something beyond the immediate or tangible. 

But what is real faith? 

Real faith is a deep, active trust that lasts through uncertainty and change. It isn’t blind or passive. Instead of avoiding doubt or resisting knowledge, real faith grows through learning. 

We often think of faith and knowledge as opposites. Faith is in the heart, and knowledge in the mind. Faith is emotional, and knowledge is logical. But in reality, the two are more intertwined than we realize. 

We can see this in our daily lives, in how we live. Especially in hard times. We exercise faith when we trust others, plan for the future, or believe in things we can’t prove but still know to be true. In those moments, faith is rooted in knowledge. It draws on past experiences, memory, and understanding. Likewise, knowledge often begins with faith. Faith that our methods are reliable, that truth exists, that understanding is worth pursuing. When we ask honest questions, new knowledge can challenge old assumptions. Real faith doesn’t ignore this. It welcomes it. It remains rooted in trust, open to learning, and committed to walking the lifelong path of growth and discovery. 

Of course, pursuing understanding isn’t always an easy task. Even the most intelligent minds work within limits. No one operates with full knowledge. From birth, we are shaped by biology, environment, education, and relationships. Our brains develop unevenly; our perspectives are shaped by what we’ve encountered and how we interpret it. And because our understanding is limited, and we live with so much uncertainty, we need faith to have a meaningful life. 

Real faith doesn’t freeze us in place. It moves us forward. It renews our thinking and strengthens our vision.

As Romans 12:2 (NIV) reminds us: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 

This verse is a call to change, to growth, and to becoming more than we were. 

Having said all this, I now fully understand the concept: Real faith doesn’t transcend knowledge. To transcend something is to rise above it. If faith tries to rise above facts or understanding, it would lead to the rejection of anything that threatens one’s belief system. It risks becoming hollow—detached from reality, even dangerous. 

Real faith doesn’t pretend to know everything. It listens. It questions. It arises from thought and often works alongside it. It can adapt when knowledge changes, resist when fear or uncertainty creep in, strengthen when reason supports it, and persist even when reason fails. 

In the end, faith doesn’t begin where thinking stops. It begins where thinking alone is no longer enough. It’s the quiet courage to trust in something more, even when everything we know falls just short of certainty.

A Love-Hate Affair

At the beginning of the year, I decided I was going to write my next novel. The struggle was real. My first attempt made it to five chapters before fizzling out. The second didn’t even survive past chapter three. I just couldn’t get my head in the game. (Peripheral neuropathy in my feet and hands doesn’t exactly help—concentration is like trying to hold soap with wet hands.)

Eventually, I thought, that’s it. No more books. I’d focus on designing adverts for my small business instead—something simpler, like arranging fonts and wondering if teal and pink are eye-catching enough.

But! Writing is part of who I am. It’s how I process the world, how I think, how I breathe. I love words. More than that, Writing is my teacher. I learn something new every time I sit down to write—usually something humbling, occasionally something useful.

So… I tried again. Third time lucky, right?

Right.

With a clear goal of 85,000 words, I started. Stuck to it. Wrote. Edited. Read each chapter a gazillion times. Despaired. Rewrote. And eventually, I self-published ‘I Think You Know’ on Amazon.

As always, amid the blur of writing and reading, I found myself face-to-face with my oldest nemesis: punctuation. Honestly, the endless debates in my head drive me nuts. To dash or not to dash? Dash or ellipsis? Ugh! And parentheses—where do they even belong? Comma here? There? Anywhere? Or maybe there are just too many commas.

Editing my own work—supposedly cost-effective in my mind—is rather expensive on time and sanity. I won’t even mention the future ‘hidden costs’ when all the editing lands me on a therapy couch for psychoanalysis.

As always, before writing, I watched videos and read articles about how real authors get it done. I explored different styles, themes, and tones of voice. Which narrator would work best—third person or first?

First person always seems like the right fit for the particular brand of crazy I harbour somewhere inside. It draws out the humour in my equally unhinged protagonist’s storytelling.

Of course, there’s always more to it than just some subtle research. There’s also the former-English-teacher in me who occasionally climbs out to join the circus. I have a natural flair for writing rigid, formal sentences—the kind with textbook-approved parentheses, neat and predictable, just like the lessons I used to teach. There’s rarely room for rogue punctuation running wild.

And yet, the imperfect woman I am—not quite English, not quite Afrikaans—somewhere between Engaans and Afringlish—makes many, many, many mistakes.

Believe me, when you read my work, it has usually been polished to the brink of madness. Any errors you find are simply the result of reaching that point of “I can’t see anything anymore”—blinded by the plight of my perfectionistic tendencies. Or perhaps there’s a trace of OCD quietly lurking between the lines.

Having said all this, it turns out fiction doesn’t much care for formal writing. In creative writing, brackets are the overachievers of punctuation—and they’ve been my go-to in every novel I’ve written.

By the way—if you’re still reading, colour me impressed. I’m genuinely smiling over here, knowing you’re still on board—and, miraculously, unbored.

Back in the day, I always told my students: the dash is the shorter line—it separates. The hyphen is the longer line—it joins. I taught it with imagery. For example:

You dash from the scene of a crime. You separate yourself from it. 
You say hi to join a conversation (hi = hy for hyphen.)

This year, while revising punctuation, I discovered a worthy replacement for the dash, the comma, and yes, even the bracket: the em dash. Apparently, it’s a thing. The free spirit of the punctuation world—unruly, versatile, and oddly good at making a sentence work.

And, just to be sure it wasn’t nonsense, I paged through a few novels and—lo and behold—authors have been using it forever.

The em dash interrupts, emphasises, and gives thoughts room to stretch:

She opened the door—then froze.
There was no other explanation—it had always been him.
His thoughts—scattered, rambling, brilliant—took over.

It mimics speech. It breathes. It sighs. It’s practically alive. The em dash is the jazz of punctuation—improvised, emotional, occasionally too much.

I never knew this, but now I do. Hence the earlier statement: Writing is my teacher. 

Almost 60 and still learning.

And just to stir the dash debate even further, it doesn’t stop there. 

Enter the en dash, a revelation. Slightly longer line than a hyphen, shorter than the em dash, used for ranges or connections: The 2022–2023 season was chaotic. Or. The Johannesburg–Cape Town route is beautiful. 

Retirement from teaching hasn’t stopped me from learning. If anything, it’s made me more curious.

But, of course, in a nutshell, writing shouldn’t be about rules. Even though I edit as I write, it doesn’t diminish what truly matters: emotion, honesty, and connection. Sometimes, the smallest mark—a dash, a dot, a well-placed comma—does more than hold a sentence together. It shapes meaning, guides feeling, and breathes life into words. Yes, punctuation is vital—but so are character development, authenticity, setting, and the careful build-up of suspense in the narrative, and all the other elements that make a book a great read. And if a touch of humour sneaks in? Well, that’s just a welcome bonus.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. Maybe you, like me, find beauty in the art of writing. And maybe—just maybe—that’s where its true magic lies.

As Ernest Hemingway said, “We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” 

We Are Not Alone

There are moments in life when the weight of hardship feels unbearable—as if the darkness pressing in from every side will never lift. Grief, illness, pain, and uncertainty can close in so tightly that it feels as if we’re being swallowed whole. And yet, even in the deepest pit of unhappiness, there’s a quiet truth that remains: God sees. God knows. God helps us endure.

“I, even I, am He who comforts you.”

— Isaiah 51:12, NIV

God is with us. He doesn’t wait for us to be strong to come close. He doesn’t require perfection. And His presence draws even nearer when we’re trembling, when we’re grieving, when we’re asking the hard questions. The world, in all its chaos and cruelty, may give us reason to despair—but even then, the very breath we breathe is evidence that we are still here. The story isn’t over. Not yet.

When we think about God, we are filled with awe:

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”
— Psalm 8:1, NIV

Even when we struggle to understand His ways, we trust that He cares deeply:

“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?”
— Psalm 8:3–4, NIV

Many believe suffering must always lead to despair. But pain and peace are not always at odds. The presence of one doesn’t cancel out the possibility of the other. To suffer and still believe, to ache and still hope—that’s a quiet kind of courage. It’s the kind of wisdom that’s born not in ease, but through seasons of wrestling, of holding on.

We often hear we should “just stay positive,” but life doesn’t work that way. Balance is natural. We cannot live fully if we only allow ourselves to acknowledge the good. To ignore pain is to deny part of our own humanity. If we never sit with the hard things—if we never face the brokenness—we also miss the depth of joy. It’s in reflecting on the bad that we learn to treasure the good. It’s in the valley that we begin to recognize the strength and beauty of the mountaintop.

When we quiet our hearts and listen—not to the noise of the world, but to the still voice beneath it—we begin to hear peace again. Nature, with her gentle rhythms and steadfast persistence, reminds us: even after the longest, coldest winter, spring does return.

In the loneliness that suffering can bring, we might feel forgotten. But we are never forsaken. To know God is to know that even without answers, we are not without purpose. Even when we feel too weak to stand, we are not without help. Even when all seems lost, we are not truly poor.

With Him, we are rich in ways we often cannot measure. His protection doesn’t always mean we’ll avoid suffering—but it does mean we won’t face it alone. His peace shows up in the middle of the storm. Without Him, fear hollows us out. But with Him—even in our loss—we are found. Even in the valley, we are held.

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.”
— Psalm 23:4, NIV

The challenge lies in not giving up when the weight of the world feels too heavy. Every tear, every longing, every breath we take is being met by a faithful God who redeems all things in His time. His comfort isn’t shallow. It’s not fleeting. It’s deep, enduring, and profoundly personal.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18, NIV

So, we keep breathing. We keep hoping. We keep believing.

Because we are still here. We are not alone. And there is still purpose waiting to be fulfilled.