At the start of the
year, I experienced this feeling of negativity and even said that 2014 is one
of my worst years ever.
I dragged this
sentiment with me over the months and believed it would remain a bad year until
December 31. I was constantly negative, tired, worried, insecure, ill, and
depressed. I had to delve very deep to
find the motivation and courage to continue ‘surviving’ the onslaught of badness
every day.
As the year is now
coming to an end, I am filled with anticipation and optimism. Suddenly things
are changing. I can already feel goodness approaching and I honestly believe
2015 is going to be a much better year.
Is
all of this
true? Has 2014 really been such a bad year? Will 2015 be a good year? In
changing my attitude, I discovered that bad and good years do not
exist. Time
is indiscriminate. It doesn’t dole out bad and good moments. Time is
time.
My attitude classifies
the year. I take upon myself many responsibilities as a wife, a mother, a
daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, and a Christian. My
perspective regarding my actions for these responsibilities determines my
attitude towards life.
Classifying a whole
year as bad or good is limited. My needs and my wants differ from other people’s
needs and wants. If circumstances prevent me from getting what I need or want,
obviously my view will be negative. On the contrary, if I get exactly what I
need or want, I will feel positive (even lucky, for that matter).
Being more flexible
and positive will help me see life without classification. I can’t always have
good times and I can’t always experience a smooth journey through life.
Everything in life is impermanent and nothing stays the same. Some may think
that if we care less, we will be less worried about life. That may be true, but
I don’t want to go through life in neutral mode. Everything in life is
interdependent. That means I need to care.
If I want to be
happy, I need to learn how to control my life on a daily basis. I shouldn’t
look at happiness in years, but rather in hours. This means I have to focus on
my needs and wants. I know more or less
what I need in life, but I don’t always know what it is that I want. I can see
my actions and I can determine my feelings. My needs can be addressed. If I am
thirsty, I can drink water. If I am tired, I can sleep. My wants are different
though! They’re never constant and change very quickly.
Life in itself is
precious. I want to put more effort into being grateful. I want to fight negativity and be more positive
during the new year. And, should there be any bumps along the way, I want to be able to live
through challenging moments without condemning the whole year.
