Friday, 4 September 2015

At a crossroad ...


For the past two years, I have thrown myself into a pool of information. Every part of the journey to become an effective teacher has been insightful and educational. 

When I reflect on the journey, I realise just how much I have changed, and learnt and grown from the experience. Having come this far, I know that I can make a difference in my classroom and at the school where I teach. Sadly, I have exhausted myself in the process. There have been times where I have reached levels of mental satiety and I just couldn’t carry on. It made me reflect on my life as a teacher.

My life as a teacher has been one of great dedication. At every school I have ever taught, I sacrificed all my energy to be committed in my endeavours for the children. In November, I will be finalising this educational journey. I will be completing my last two exams and my research assignment, and then I will receive my Bachelor of Education (B.Ed) Honours degree in Teaching and Learning. So far I have passed five of the eight completed modules with distinction. I gave my best and I have achieved what I set out to do. 

As October approaches, I consider how I have spent my years in self-sacrificial workaholism. I’m turning 50 this year and more than ever the question lingers: Is this really what I plan to do for the next fifteen years until retirement? 

Surely there is more to life than working myself into a stupor? There’s joy and satisfaction in what I do, but at the expense of my family and my health. I’ve never travelled anywhere and holidays away from home are a luxury I cannot afford. So, I spend the school holidays preparing for the next term. Do I rest? No. Does it matter? It never did. 

Suddenly I find myself contemplating all the adventures of life on which I am missing out. I’m at a crossroad. 

Where to from here?