Sunday, 23 November 2014
At the start of the year, I experienced this feeling of negativity and even said that 2014 is one of my worst years ever.
I dragged this sentiment with me over the months and believed it would remain a bad year until December 31. I was constantly negative, tired, worried, insecure, ill, and depressed. I had to delve very deep to find motivation and courage to continue ‘surviving’ the onslaught of badness every day.
As the year is now coming to an end, I am filled with anticipation and optimism. Suddenly things are changing. I can already feel goodness approaching and I honestly believe 2015 is going to be a much better year.
Is all of this true? Has 2014 really been such a bad year? Will 2015 be a good year? In changing my attitude, I discovered that bad and good years do not exist. Time is indiscriminate. It doesn’t dole out bad and good moments. Time is time.
My attitude classifies the year. I take upon myself many responsibilities as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, and a Christian. My perspective regarding my actions for these responsibilities determines my attitude towards life.
Classifying a whole year as bad or good is limited. My needs and my wants differ from other people’s needs and wants. If circumstances prevent me from getting what I need or want, obviously my view will be negative. On the contrary, if I get exactly what I need or want, I will feel positive (even lucky, for that matter).
Being more flexible and positive will help me see life without classification. I can’t always have good times and I can’t always experience a smooth journey through life. Everything in life is impermanent and nothing stays the same. Some may think that if we care less, we will be less worried about life. That may be true, but I don’t want to go through life in neutral mode. Everything in life is interdependent. That means I need to care.
If I want to be happy, I need to learn how to control my life on a daily basis. I shouldn’t look at happiness in years, but rather in hours. This means I have to focus on my needs and wants. I know more or less what I need in life, but I don’t always know what it is that I want. I can see my actions and I can determine my feelings. My needs can be addressed. If I am thirsty, I can drink water. If I am tired, I can sleep. My wants are different though! They’re never constant and change very quickly.
Life in itself is precious. I want to put more effort into being grateful. I want to fight negativity and be more positive during the new year. And, should there be any bumps along the way, I want to be able to live through challenging moments without condemning the whole year.